Sunday, 26 December 2021

LETTER TO THE ROMANS




Dear Romans

You probably don't know me but my name is Paul. I was named Saul but changed that by deed poll (don't ask). Some Sicilian's were after me for some debts they claimed were outstanding, OK?

I decide that a cover story was needed so decided to become an Apostle. I had some nice cards made up - I've attached one to the letter for you to keep"

Paul
The Apostle
"My mission is to bring about the obedience of faith among all the Gentiles”
Look I'm looking forward to meeting you guys, I truly am, you guys are the best. I always say this - ask anyone - the Ephesians maybe. Anyway, is there any chance you can put a good word in for me with old Papa? I want to preach in your burg soon. It'll be nothing controversial, you know, a bit of narrative. I'll have to mention the Jews, sorry, but I'll throw in a few jokes to lighten it up. This will have to be necessary, the jokes I mean because some of the sermon might get a bit heavy (man). 

Old Goddy wants me to talk about the Gospel. I know, I know, dullsville but, hey. he's the boss OK? He's given me some quotes for example:  “The Gospel is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed through faith for faith” . 

Told you.

You know the background but here's a bit of a summary:

The state of humanity was in pretty bad shape before Jesus came along (according to him) but he brought with him  the possibility of salvation through faith in Jesus. You know how the  Gentiles worshipped idols, disdaining devotion to God and all - oh sorry, yeah most of you guys are Gentiles and worship idols and all. Anyway,  the Jews failed to follow the law properly, and acted hypocritically by proclaiming allegiance to Jewish law while surreptitiously sinning. Bastards!
God though, Jesus's dad, or well Jesus, he ..... I get a bit confused about this stuff but Goddy/God/Jesus apparently made a promise to the Jews like years ago that they were his chosen people and that if they chopped off a bit of their wedding tackle they would be able to show Goddy at judgement time that they were part of the club as it were. The thing is though, Jesus Goddy decided to change the rules a bit and said to the Jews that the ancient promise 'symbolised' by circumcision, doesn't bring automatic salvation: “A person is a Jew who is one inwardly, and real circumcision is a matter of the heart—it is spiritual”. Well, you can see that this pissed them off a bit which is why there was that kerfuffle at Golgotha.

 The boss also me to also say that we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under the power of sin. I guess he wants the Romans included in that.
Sorry, I told you that it was a bit heavy.

Look, I'll leave you with a little joke to help lighten things OK:

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!
Ha, ha .... see you guys soon, 

Paul




Friday, 10 December 2021

NORWICH

 

NORWICH - ALAN BENNETT



Bless your little bottyboos, old Frank has finally come out with a sensible ruling in the Catholic Church.


Lust is not the worst of the seven deadly sins, according to Pope Francis.

The leader of the Catholic Church has come out saying there are worse indiscretions than having sex outside of marriage, in an interview with reporters while en route from Greece to Italy.

"Sins of the flesh are not the most serious," the 84-year-old religious leader said regarding sex outside of marriage. Top transgressions instead include pride and hatred, according to Reuters.

 Does this mean that Robert and his fellow Catholics can now put it about or at least have a guilt-free bonk if he has sex with no intention of procreation?

Time will tell. 

THERE ARE SNAKES, SNAKES, BIG AS GARDEN RAKES ...

... no, not in my garden thank you.   "My eyes are dim I can not see I have not got my specs with me I have not got my specs with me....