THE LITTLE SHOP ON THE PRAYERIE

In his second to last post Robert mentioned the church shop again that he occasionally mans (seeing as very few other people want to).

"He was on Church shop at 9am.

"I can do you a deal on some overpriced rosary beads, some crappy medals made in China or some right-wing, mysogynistic, fact-devoid Christian pamphlets. Two for the price of one."

He wondered if the chap from Wainui would come asking for hot cross buns. Rob always referred him across the road to Woolworths. The chap would rave about obscure chords before suddenly looking at his watch. "Have to go ,have to go ...oh my!" and hurry off. Because he was busy with the shop and collections Rob liked to go to the Mass the previous evening too. He could sit at the front and concentrate free of distractions. He was anxious to receive Holy Communion with a clean 'slate'. It always felt better that way. A sinful soul was like a dark dungeon for Jesus. Jesus had suffered enough on the cross for his sins, he didn't want to add to His pain. As he had entered the church a husband and wife team was handing out brochures. He politely declined the weekly newsletter from the gentleman, having received his by email. The lady asked him if he wanted the Catholic monthly newspaper. He declined again, not wishing to have to take it into the church. She seemed put out. He thought of a comical situation in the film Airplane where Robert Stack deals with people trying to give him pamphlets. The Gospel is about divorce. Jesus says Moses had allowed it but He was now putting his foot down. It had to stop! The sermon carries on that theme. Robert finds the native African priest dryly humorous. He has a Ph D evidently and his wit seems to go over the heads of most of the congregation."

In a comment on one of Richard's posts he said:

Is this a sign that cracks are showing in his belief in Catholicism? After all, he has, in his latest post admitted that the 'Ten Commandments' is a crock of shit:

"Let's take a closer look at commandments in Exodus. I do not want to say THE TEN COMMANDMENTS! Because these are not advice for living well or Tennant's for everyone to get along okee-dory with everyone else. Really there are not necessarily only ten. They may not even be mutually exclusive as TC pointed out in his blog. They build on each other. "Don't steal" then later " look to be perfectly honest don't even think of stealing"!"

        - Robert Monday 7 October 

 ... or that's what I gleaned in that convoluted and grammatically incorrect paragraph. I blame the Scottish beer.

Maybe Robert needs to jazz up the church shop offerings. Hey! What a great idea that I actually suggested in a comment on Richard's post:

Admittedly Robert's church shop has a pretty crappy offering that he has admitted to. I looked on-line to see if that was the norm and, sadly it seems to be the case around the country. Even the Cathedral Shop has defaulted to Trade Me which is really 'letting the moneylenders into the Temple' Jesus would no doubt disapprove.

Other shops, as Robert informed us, carry expensive (and overpriced) tatty junk:

Look at the price of that!

I bet that they bought it from TEMU for about $3 and applied a generous and 'sacred' mark-up.

I suggest going to the source for tatty religious junk. Here a a few of the many offerings on the TEMU website:

Wow! classy.

100 of these for $13.94!

Admittedly I'd have liked to have one of these when back at school

Who wouldn't want one of these over the door?

Robert - that's who. He'd no doubt want a pair of them.

Robert was right to criticise his church's shop's offerings. As the virtual sole proprietor though he should become a bit more involved in purchasing, price-setting, display, merchandising, marketing and advertising.

Earlier I briefly suggested some new stock items and services like a condom machine, a magazine rack with some trendy lifestyle publications, a vape section that can be expanded when this current government allows vaping tobacco, a wine section with bottles with labels preferably featuring Jesus, a novelty section where funny’s things like false beards, fart cushions, itching powder, stink bombs and plastic dog turds can be sold to amuse the kids and altar boys who would otherwise be bored, and a communion host section.  These can be expanded with a music section featuring some old favourites likeThe Faith Tones:

 

... and The Ministers Quartet:

Some cross-marketing could be had in providing foodstuff items, home furnishings and clothing as these are always in demand:

Obviously these are just preliminary ideas and suggestions. A more detailed marketing plan and sales strategy can be written - I'll do it for a reasonable fee.

Please share your observations and ideas.

' TEN COMMANDMENTS'...

... has to go.

Robert the Cacographic Christian has 'The Ten Commandments' as a feature on his blog's home page.

Richard of Richard's Bass Bag, rightly so, takes umbrage at this and in his most recent post writes:

"I went to reread Robert's post about being vulnerable, but it seems to have gone. Maybe his latest thinking is, "Be a bit of a bastard."
All I could find, on his blog, that looked new, was the ten commandments.

"The ten commandments
1. I am the LORD your God. You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve. 2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. 3. Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day. 4. Honor your father and your mother. 5. You shall not kill. 6. You shall not commit adultery. 7. You shall not steal. 8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. 9. You shall not covet your neighbors wife. 10. You shall not covet your neighbors goods."

The first thing I noticed was the American spelling (neighbor, honor) and the lack of possessive apostrophes (neighbors goods, neighbors wife).

Maybe God is American?

As you probably already know, the first three commandments are about sucking up to God. Probably the two most logical commandments are telling you not to steal or kill. Did we really need number 10? Not stealing really covers that one. Again, number 9 is really covered by number 6. Number 8 sounds like an attempt to say, "Be nice to other people." Why doesn't it just say that?"

*****************************

I generally agree with Richard and 'The Ten Commandments' has always been an annoyance to me even when I was a Catholic child being taught in Catholic schools. The whole thing is a crock of shit and could have been done better by Jacinda Ardern who said "Be strong and be kind". Hell, even that waste of space simp Melania Trump nailed it by saying "Be best"...

... but, knowing her it was probably some kind of superego claim.

The so-called ten commandments are extremely light on the important things that are fundamental to ethics, morality and responsible living and, as Richard said, too heavy on "sucking up to god".

It beggars belief that these ten rules for good living that christians seem to believe are sacrosanct make no mention of sexual abuse, slavery, racism, genocide, abuse of power, and not writing endless posts about double bass practice. It's as if those things are not deemed important and and, by default, sanctioned.

It's about time that they were dumped and a new code of ethics created and promulgated - not by any churches but by some respected world body - maybe The United Nations which has already a quite useful and interesting charter: UN Charter

"United Nations Charter -Preamble

WE THE PEOPLES OF THE UNITED NATIONS DETERMINED

to save succeeding generations from the scourge of war, which twice in our lifetime has brought untold sorrow to mankind, and
to reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person, in the equal rights of men and women and of nations large and small, and to establish conditions under which justice and respect for the obligations arising from treaties and other sources of international law can be maintained, and to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger freedom,

AND FOR THESE ENDS

to practice tolerance and live together in peace with one another as good neighbours, and to unite our strength to maintain international peace and security, and to ensure, by the acceptance of principles and the institution of methods, that armed force shall not be used, save in the common interest, and to employ international machinery for the promotion of the economic and social advancement of all peoples,

HAVE RESOLVED TO COMBINE OUR EFFORTS TO ACCOMPLISH THESE AIMS.

Accordingly, our respective Governments, through representatives assembled in the city of San Francisco, who have exhibited their full powers found to be in good and due form, have agreed to the present Charter of the United Nations and do hereby establish an international organization to be known as the United Nations."

That'd be better than the other nonsense. 

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Here, Cesar Sojo, in 'Injustice' investigates 'The Ten Commandments and comes up with basically the same conclusion as Richard and me - it has to go.

"For the sake of understanding how unexceptional the Ten Commandments are, we need to go through them. I‘ve bunched them into different groups and examined their flaws.
The Jealous God
- I am the LORD thy God
- No other gods before me
- No graven images or likenesses
- Not take the LORD’s name in vain

The first half of the commandments aren’t even practical pointers for a better life. They’re just statements declared by a green-eyed god. A god that can’t handle his creations rooting for other deities, and gets a bobo each time someone would utter his name in vain.
Not Terrible Advice
- Remember the sabbath day
- Honour thy father and thy mother

While it’s a good idea to honor your parents and take time off from work, I think it would be even better if we treated all humans with decency and respect. It encompasses a much larger group.
The Unoriginals

The only commandments that might actually reduce human suffering.
- Thou shalt not kill
- Thou shalt not steal
- Thou shalt not bear false witness

The few Commandments that are actually of value weren't even innovative for their time. People weren’t murdering and looting willy-nilly, having no idea what they were doing was wrong. “Wait, so it’s bad to slaughter other people? I had no idea?” Murder has been viewed as an unethical act in many cultures far before Judeo-Christian tradition.
Control Of Property
- Thou shalt not covet

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor — Exodus 20:17

Until this point, all the commandments have been laws telling people what actions were immoral, but this commandment takes it a step further and tells people that even thoughts can be immoral.

Thoughtcrime is real. Stealing your neighbor’s donkey is not enough of a crime, even thinking about wanting a donkey of your own is already wrong according to this commandment. Because you’re coveting that which belongs to your neighbor.

It’s impossible to follow the Ten Commandments when even thinking can be considered a sin.
- Thou shalt not commit adulteryIn Judaism adultery meant something very specific:Not having sex with “another man’s wife”

Not having sex outside of wedlock

The bulk of the emphasis was placed on a woman’s relationship to men and their“sexual purity”.


The Ten Commandments was and still is used as a tool to manipulate marginalized groups. Forceful men in positions of authority have cashed in on exploiting peasants for centuries.
Undermines the Class Struggles

The Bible and the Ten Commandments have been used as tools to persuade the masses of the status quo. A farmer must not covet the possessions of their rich neighbor, or yearn for a better life. For a farmer disgusted by inequity is sinning against God. Those in power use religion as a tool to keep the public from revolting.

Jesus himself was killed as he clashed with religious authorities. I go into further detail in my post on Jesus.
Did Jesus Really Exist?
How did a poor, illiterate, uneducated, pious, Jewish peasant start a religion?

Patriarchal Structure

In the Bible, women are second-class citizens and viewed as male possessions, on par with donkeys. I would have at least hoped that one of the commandments would have been reserved for protecting the rights of women. But clearly, that did not happen.
Racial Inequality

Throughout European, Latin American, and Northern American history, slavery was framed as morally justifiable based on guidelines set in scripture. In the eyes of the lord slavery, segregation and discrimination are all fine and dandy.

It horrifies me that none of the commandments make sure that all people ought to be treated equally. In fact, slavery is a common element of many biblical stories. God doesn’t seem to worry too much about having people enslaved or segregated.
Other Sources of Wisdom

Many believers will not seek out other sources of wisdom to base their morality upon. Why read Confucius, Plato, or Kant when God holds all the answers in heaven.
A Better World

The world becomes a brighter place without the Ten Commandments. It seems to me that it’s time to revamp our moral code. The following is a list of suggestions I’m making.Treat others with love and respect
Every person has the right over their own body
Do not enslave other people, like… seriously
Do not harm or abuse children
Do not force your religion upon your children or other people

There would be significantly less suffering if people took these principles into consideration. Incidentally, there’s nothing special about this list, anyone could come up with a similar list. It doesn’t take a degree in Philosophy or Theology to understand that it’s wrong to harm children or discriminate against other people. A bit of critical thinking and forethought goes a long way.

This is not a sacred list, and avoid following it dogmatically. Scrutiny and examination are more than welcome. Unlike the Ten Commandments, it’s encouraged to change your convictions when confronted with new information.

The Ten Commandments are underwhelming at best and a destructive device of tyranny at its worst. The commandments are used for social control and keeping people in check. I came up with a new set of recommendations that you can take or leave.

Your life will change when you realize that there’s nothing special about what is said in the bible. You can come up with something even better.

[Sorry about the format there - the cutting and pasting proved to be a bit difficult. Robert is better at that as he's more experienced]

PSST! CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?

 I admit that I've been critical of the Catholic Church in my posts on this blog but Father Bliss did encourage me to have a questioning mind. I'm sure that he would approve of my and the other Curmudgeon's take on the inconsistencies, the irregularities and the downright untruths propagated by the Vatican over the years. He visited there and I wish I'd had the opportunity to ask him about it.

"I could have told you some stories Peter."

Robert The - well, Whatever might have a take on this as, after all he's still in active contact with the Church and follows religiously (see what I dId there?) the weekly missives emanating from that 120 acres in the middle of Rome. No doubt he's familiar with these 15 secrets the Vatican doesn't want us to know:

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

WOO-WOO!

Robert's at it again with his crazy Catholic beliefs.

In one of his recent posts for some reason he regurgitated the nonsense about  the Fatima (Portugal) sun miracle of 1917. OUR LADY OF FATIMA

In this catholics (some, not all) would have us believe that the sun zig-zagged in the sky, whooshed towards Earth and 'miraculously' dried up peoples' wet clothes and the ground after a rainstorm. Woo-woo! 

Any sensible person would see this for what it is - hysterical nonsense propagated by under-educated, naive and ignorant people - meaning the peasants in Portugal at the time. This seemingly is still being propagated by under-educated, naive and ignorant people even today  - see the link to Robert's post above (Our Lady of Fatima).

I had a quick read of his nonsense and the link to other catholic nonsense before looking up on the internet to find this:

FOUR DEBUNKED RELIGIOUS MIRACLES

2. The Sun Miracle of Fatima. In May 1917 in Fatima, Portugal, three children claimed to have encountered the Virgin Mary out in the countryside, who told them she would return on the thirteenth day over the next few months. Their tale grew in popularity, culminating with an estimated 70,000 people showing up at the site on October 13th, waiting for a miracle. On that day, the Virgin Mary "appeared", but only to the children – very suspicious. However, the other onlookers witnessed what has been called a "sun miracle". As investigator Joe Nickell recounted:


"Not everyone reported the same thing; some present claimed they saw the sun dance around the heavens; others said the sun zoomed toward Earth in a zigzag motion that caused them to fear that it might collide with our planet (or, more likely, burn it up). Some people reported seeing brilliant colors spin out of the sun in a psychedelic, pinwheel pattern, and thousands of others present didn't see anything unusual at all."

If anything did happen, it was likely an atmospheric event called a "sundog," in which light refracts off ice crystals, creating a wondrous halo of light.

I think I'll go with Joe Nickell's interpretation.

The Holy Seagull approves this post

 

I'VE GOT A TRUCKLOAD OF SINS

 I called Robert a sanctimonious and holier-than-thou boor in The Curmudgeon post today - sorry about that.

In my defence though he was behaving like a born again christian or one of those reformed smokers and drinkers when he said:

"You ask how I managed to write without embibing? I write in the morning. Life without expensive, depressing, mind numbing alcohol is really, really good. I sleep well, no pains in organs that are working overtime trying to remove poisons, I've lost 6 kg... "

I rest my case M'lud. 

Maybe I should confess my sin.

I've been watching the excellent Rake series on TV. The character Cleaver Greene is one of the best characters created on Australian TV and his acerbic wit and curmudgeonliness is a treat. Here's a cscene where Cleaver goes to confession in a Catholic church. I can't help feeling that I'd be tempted to talk to any platitudinous priest the same way.

FOR ROBERT - 15 GRAMMES AND WHAT DO YOU GET...?

 

I was listening to an interview with a pathologist on the radio today. 

Dr Temple-Camp, New Zealand's leading pathologist talked of his new book Final Diagnosis and some  cases of death, disease and murder that prove that sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

HERE

Of interest to Robert might be his belief that bodies have souls and he told of a study made of dying and dead people to investigate this. Temple-Camp said that in the studies, dying people were weighed very accurately just before death and then just after the point of death and the measurements were compared. On average the difference (I think) was 15 grammes. Before tour resident Wainuiomata scatologist interrupts I need to say that evacuation of waste, blood and bodily fluids was controlled and not a factor in this. It is intriguing and Temple-Camp thinks that the 15 grammes might represent the soul departing the body.

Food for thought?

INQUISITION

 

We have, just to hand, a transcript from the Catholic Archdiocese of Wellington who called a special synod to discuss the suspected heresy and desertion of one of its members.

The transcript is very long (and boring) as you'd expect and bangs on seemingly forever about Catholic mysticism and a lot of other silly things. The gist of it is though that Robert the catholic cleaner was caught cleaning at an Anglican church and summoned to appear at the synod to explain himself. The presiding bishop - Bishop Loveboy, assisted by Father Fromm-Methebetta on secondment from The Vatican wrapped up proceedings as follows:

**continues**

Bishop Loveboy:  ... so Robert, you admit that you were seen, on numerous occasions, habituating the Anglican temple of demonomancy and heresy and ...

Robert the catholic cleaner: ... umm... I don't do that your honour.

Bishop Loveboy: What? Stop mumbling boy. What don't you do?

Robert the catholic cleaner: ... umm... I don't do that with my hands your honour. It's a sin ...

Bishop Loveboy: You're making no sense boy, I've got a good mind to ...

Father Fromm-Methebetta: Ah - if I mightta makea tha suggestion Excellency - I thinka he meansa the masturbation.

Bishop Loveboy: Eeew! Get your mind out of the gutter boy. This is the Catholic Church here. I meant that you were seen inside that evil place.

Robert the catholic cleaner: Oh, right, rightyo um guilty as charged your honour.

Bishop Loveboy: OK - we can wrap this up then - let's ...

Robert the catholic cleaner: Umm .. your honour?

Bishop Loveboy: What is it boy. Can't you see that I'm busy. I've got to excommunicate you - its a pity we can no longer flog you or burn you at a stake - and then I've got to go fidd .. er I've got some little problematic jobs to do.

Robert the catholic cleaner: Umm, your honour, it's just that when I was cleaning the Catholic church, my local and the one that you used to be parish priest at years ago, I found in a back cupboard a little journal with names in it ...

Bishop Loveboy: (blanching) Um um um a little journal you say? Whose is it do you think?

Robert the catholic cleaner: It's yours your honour. It has your name written in the front. It says "This journal belongs to Father Loveboy please return it immediately without reading it if you find it."

Bishop Loveboy: Ha ha ... I see um, you didn't read it did you boy?

Robert the catholic cleaner: Well, as I cannot tell a lie your honour, yes I did. It had a lot of names written in it.

Bishop Loveboy: Ha ha. Names you say? Ha ha. Anything else boy?

Robert the catholic cleaner: Alongside each name - which was a name of one of the altar boys - was a little description of what they liked or didn't like and some detail of what you di ....

Bishop Loveboy: Ha ha. That'll do boy - let's just leave that there shall we. Look, I don't think we need to proceed any further. You are obviously innocent of all charges and can go ... um, can I have that little book Robert? Just for old times sake eh. Father Fromm-Methebetta?

Father Fromm-Methebetta: Yessa, I agreea itsa betta we leava thingsa as they area. Umma, can I helpa with thosea er 'leetle jobs' you have a to do nexta?

Bishop Loveboy: Sure no problem. We can look at the problem from both ends as it were that way. Let's hurry.

**Ends**