THE BEAUTIFUL SCAM

 I'm not religious but was brought up and educated as a Catholic.

As a Primary school student I enjoyed the pageantry of the church services we went to which, in the early days were conducted in Latin. I was an Altar Boy which meant that I officiated at Mass, Benediction and the odd (and I mean odd) other services.

It was all a bit of fun and a mystery - particularly the arcane practices and teachings from The Catechism which included fairy-tale nonsense like:

•  Transubstantiation (turning a dry wafer and some cheap sweet red wine into the body and blood of Jesus Christ).
• The Resurrection (Jesus Christ raising himself from the dead).
• The Ascension (Jesus Christ taking off up into Heaven).
• The assumption (Jesus Christ somehow raising up Mary, his mother, into Heaven).

Of course, as a 7 year old this stuff while not making sense was accepted just as much as the fact that turning a light switch on created light and dad turning on the ignition switch in the car made it go. There wasn't any need to understand the workings behind these 'miracles'.

In Intermediate school, the same nonsense was taught but this time by Marist Brothers instead of Sisters of Mercy Nuns and to me at the ages of 10 through 13. I could see through it then.

By the time I got to Secondary school and was taught by Marist Priests there was no way that they could hoodwink me over The Catechism and Christian Doctrine stuff. It turned out to be my worst school subject as it was impossible to get good marks from such arrant nonsense. In hindsight I should have just winged it and regurgitate all the shit that they wanted to hear.

"Psst! You want to hear a story?"

After school and university I made a career in marketing. This was pretty good and I enjoyed doing it, particularly as the product I marketed for over 40 years was interesting (alcohol). The beers, wines and spirits all had their own back stories and interesting places of origin.

Marketing wasn't quite as formalised then as it is now so, like the TV series Mad Men we could pretty much wing it when it came to label creation, advertising and promotion. Later, with more sophisticated supply chain mechanisms, legislature changes and creation of international standards, did the whole thing become onerous and boring. There were so many new regulations that stymied creativity. I'm retired now and glad of it. I'd hate to be 'marketing' beers or wines to supermarkets where their only interest is in how much they can screw down the supplier on price and how much bribe money (disguised as cooperative advertising) they can solicit for prime shelf placement.

I thought I was a pretty good marketer and am proud of many great initiatives in brand creation, advertising and brand building but in truth, my efforts and the efforts of just about everyone around the world in marketing and promotion pales to insignificance when compared to the way that religion is fostered.

I hadn't given religion much thought for many years until I started blogging with friends Richard and Robert.

Richard, like me underwent Catholic education from Nuns, Brothers and Priests and similarly rejected it all as stuff and nonsense.

Robert, Richard's younger brother by two years also was educated by Nuns, Brothers and Priests at the same Wellington schools but - and here's the rub - he still embraces the stuff and nonsense. Somewhere along the line someone really did a good job on him. At 65 years of age he still goes to Mass on the weekend, sits and listens to bible readings and some Catholic propaganda from the pulpit and takes it away with him. It would be OK if he kept it to himself but no, he manages to thread it through his social and political beliefs (Trumpian) and expounds it via his blog.

Religion, particularly Christianity and especially Catholicism has managed to scam people magnificently - even royally for eons.

THE ROYAL SCAM - STEELY DAN

(inserted mainly because I like it)

How brand owners and marketers would love to be able to get away with what these scamsters get away with. Lies, exaggerations, puffery, misrepresentation, violence instigation, money soliciting, failure of delivery and broken promises are all part and parcel of the 'business' but they don't seem to lack customers. even when previous captives (like Richard and me) leave there are plenty of other dupes to baptise and intimidate and then fleece.

Imagine this scenario of a brand owner advertising their product:

Quick, buy this now or you will live for eternity in suffering and anguish.

We can't really explain how it works as it has never been proven but, if you have faith it will go.

There's no hurry in this. Don't worry if it doesn't work straight away.

It will work, if you believe, after you are dead and gone.

Believe us.

All that at premium prices. with no need to discount or have special offers (apart from the selling of indulgences to get out of Purgatory and Limbo). And, of course, no regularity authorities to vett the advertising and prosecute any fraud and misleading statements.

It's a BEAUTIFUL SCAM  alright.