Robert of Moera, a catholic cleaner in the Hutt Valley, swore to wipe out sinners and those who eschewed the teachings of his church and his beloved priests. He particularly hated homosexuals, adulterers, unmarried couples and those who supported abortion.
Robert was "breathing out murderous threats against gays, atheists, protestants and the city's mayor when he was directed, by a cleaner with a bad knee, to empty the bins near the desks where PhD students work at computer screens. As usual Robert was listening to a podcast through his earphones and was a bit distracted. The topic of the podcast was 'Woke'. It was about Donald Trump's attack on the USA women's soccer team - "bunch of dykes"- he called them. Robert agreed and his head was filled with a cosy image of his hero embracing the American flag.
"Whaaa? said Robert. He was still listening to the podcast and had the image of Megan Rapinoe in his mind.
"Do you really want to make me cry?" asked Rapinoe.
Robert dropped the bin, sending debris over the carpet with some dust going into his eyes, temporally blinding him. He shook head and something like scales fell from his eyes. He looked up and was confronted by a beautiful rainbow flag.
"It's a miracle" he thought and, like his hero he embraced the flag saying "Sorry, sorry.." over and over.
He left the bins and raced out of the office waving his beautiful rainbow flag.
"I think I'll be known as Bob now" thought Robert. I've seen the error of my ways.
"I can't wait to tell Richard, but first I'd better stock up the condom machine at the church store and rub off that graffiti I painted on the Family Planning Centre."
"I can't wait to tell Richard, but first I'd better stock up the condom machine at the church store and rub off that graffiti I painted on the Family Planning Centre."
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Meanwhile, in a desk in the office a cellphone that a student left behind continued to play a Culture Club song on the Spotify app.
"....... In my heart the fire is burningChoose my colour find a starPrecious people always tell meThat's a step a step too far....."
* With apologies to St Paul The Apostle.
"....... In my heart the fire is burning
ReplyDeleteChoose my colour find a star
Precious people always tell me
That's a step a step too far....."
I think I get it. Reading these posts is always demanding when written by someone as elucidate as Peter McDonald of Whangarei.
Good to see you boys having fun.
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