WAS THE VIRGIN BIRTH A RESULT OF IVF?

 I dreamed this post last night and tried to write it all own today but it seems that I've forgotten most of it including the clever heading.

It was in my mind because yesterday or the day before when I was looking at the Catholic Church's ruling against abortion and contraception I noticed that the Vatican also outlaws In vitro fertilisation (IVF):

In vitro fertilisation (IVF) is a complex series of procedures used to help with fertility or prevent genetic problems and assist with the conception of a child. During IVF , mature eggs are collected (retrieved) from ovaries and fertilised by sperm in a lab.

 This from the not very consistent Catholic Church's head office that won't let women who don't want children use contraception to avoid getting pregnant, won't let women who are pregnant and don't want to be pregnant get an abortion and on the other hand won't let women who want to be pregnant but cannot, take steps to become pregnant.

Confused?

The Catholic Church opposes all kinds of assisted reproductive technology and artificial contraception, on the grounds that they separate the procreative goal of marital sex from the goal of uniting married couples. The Catholic Church permits the use of a small number of reproductive technologies and contraceptive methods such as natural family planning, which involves charting ovulation times, and allows other forms of reproductive technologies that allow conception to take place from normative sexual intercourse, such as a fertility lubricant. Pope Benedict XVI had publicly re-emphasised the Catholic Church's opposition to in vitro fertilisation, saying that it replaces love between a husband and wife.

Oh, thanks.

So, if the Catholic Church opposes in vitro fertilisation, saying that "it replaces love between a husband and wife" how does it explain the The Virgin Mary getting pregnant which seems to be the earliest form of IVF?

The Catholic Church's teachings tell us that the virgin birth of Jesus is the Christian doctrine that Jesus was conceived by his mother, Mary, through the power of the Holy Spirit and without sexual intercourse.  

So what did The Holy Spirit do to get Mary pregnant without disturbing the hymen and, I guess without any form of penetration apart from depositing the sperm inside Mary's uterus and fallopian tubes? It sounds like an IVF procedure to me.

How did The Holy Spirit carry the divine spunk given that it's a bird and doesn't have hands or pockets? 

Whose spunk was it anyway? It wasn't the Holy Spirit's as, being a bird it has a completely different reproductive system to humans whether divine ones or not and it couldn't have been Jesus's as he wasn't born yet. Was it God's? I guess it must have been. How long does God's spunk remain fresh then? Did The Holy Spirit have some kind of sealed container to carry it or was it just a soiled handkerchief? It's kind of mind-boggling to think of old Goddy up there having a wank with The Holy Spirit flying around waiting for him to finish.

There are just so many unanswered questions.