MORE WEIRD SHIT THAT CHRISTIANS BELIEVE IN

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There's so much weird shit that this will have to be the first in a new series.

I've forgotten most of the rubbish that the nuns taught me from the Catholic Catechism when I was a child. For those who don't know, the Catechism is not unlike Grimm's Fairy Tales except that the big bad wolf and Rapunzel are more believable  in those.

Actually I just discovered that the Grimm brothers wrote some Christian stuff as well like The Twelve Apostles and Our Lady's Child.

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The Twelve Apostles

The story begins 300 years before the birth of Christ. The Brothers Grimm imagine that Peter is born to a poor woman, the eldest in a family of 12 children. One day Peter walks deep into a forest, where he becomes disoriented. He is visited by a small boy (an angel? The Christ Child?) who shines with brightness, and who leads Peter by the hand to a beautiful place (heaven?) where the child rocks him to sleep. One by one, 12 children are lulled to sleep by the shining young boy; and as the Brothers Grimm tell the story:
“They slept … three hundred years, until the night when the Saviour of the world was born. Then they awoke, and were with him on earth, and were called the Twelve Apostles.”

Our Lady’s Child

In this story, a woodcutter and his wife have a child, a little 3-year-old girl. So poor that they had nothing to feed her, the woodcutter was distressed; but the Virgin Mary appeared to him in the forest and told him that she would take and care for their little girl. The child lived happily with the Virgin Mary, playing with angels and thriving on the heavenly food; but one day, Mary told her that she was going on a long trip. The child could look through 12 doors to see the beauty and the joy behind them; but the 13th door, which was locked, must not be opened.
The child disobeyed, taking the key and peering inside to see the Holy Trinity; but upon Mary’s return, she lied and said that she had never opened that door. For her disobedience and her deceit, she was punished — returned to the earth, where she lived in the forest and survived on roots and berries. Several times, Mary comes to her and asks if she looked through the door; but each time the girl, now a grown woman, lies and is returned to her misery. After great struggles, finally she admits her sin, saying, “Yes, Mary, I did it.” She is saved from a fire and granted a happy life. The Virgin Mary spoke kindly to her, saying, “He who repents his sin and acknowledges it, is forgiven.”

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But I digress. Today in Robert's latest post he reminded me of some Christian nonsense I was taught and, surprisingly forgot.




Now that's truly bizarre and it's a wonder that the Brothers Grimm didn't have a go at it. The concept is wacky enough and there are endless possibilities for God to get it wrong (like he /she/it did in the first place).

I looked up the internet to see what the various nutters have to say on the subject and, unsurprisingly, there is lots there. Here's are some outtakes:


"Down here, our bodies have been weakened by sin -- but in heaven, all that will be behind us, because by His death and resurrection Christ conquered all sin and sickness and death. The Bible says that in heaven Christ “will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body” (Philippians 3:21)."


"Do you get a new body when you go to heaven?
Our old, physical body will be left behind; our new, spiritual body will be “raised up.” The Scripture reveals that our resurrection body will be a spiritual body perfectly suited to be with the Lord forever in Heaven. The apostle Paul agreed with Jesus' words and timing according to 1 Thessalonians 4:15-18 (ESV)."



"What does Scripture say about heaven and the new body?2 Corinthians 5:1-10 NLT
We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.What is the doctrine of bodily resurrection?"

There were hundreds of these and ranged from literal interpretations like the one Robert adopted through to metaphorical scenarios with many shades in-between. All of course are nonsense.

Robert's belief that "God will give me a new body on the last day and it will last forever" is quite fanciful but, with the rise of AI and what the Chinese are doing with robotics nowadays who knows?