Friday, 8 December 2017

OLD RELICS



OLD RELICS

No, not ex schoolteachers. We may cover these in another post.

Robert has been banging on about a crazy monk named Pio of Pietrelcina who was canonised (made a saint) in 2002 which just goes to show that the catholic church is still a crazy place.

This Saint Pio of Peitrelcina seemed to be a bit odd and somehow his body would come up in strange welts, rashes and wounds that nutty christians claimed to be stigmata (see previous post).
Pio was reported to have said:

"Then last night something happened which I can neither explain nor understand. In the middle of the palms of my hands a red mark appeared, about the size of a penny, accompanied by acute pain in the middle of the red marks. The pain was more pronounced in the middle of the left hand, so much so that I can still feel it. Also under my feet I can feel some pain."

Sounds like psoriasis or shingles to me.

It is also alleged that Saint Pio was able to bi-locate (appear in two places at once) and to read the sins on a person’s soul. Well, I don't know about bi-location. Bi-polar was a distinct possibility.


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Anyway, as I said Robert has been reading about Pio ...... before I forget here's a Pio song.

A song:

Pio, PieeeeeeO
Daylight comes and my stigmata's not go -on.
Pi, I say Pi, I say PieeeO
Daylight comes and my stigmata's not gone.
Come Mr Christian man, check out my stigmata
Daylight comes and my stigmata's not gone.
etc.


Robert added in some nonsense about knowing god which although I didn't understand I was still going to comment on (never let lack of knowledge get in the way of a good comment or post).

Robert said:


"Anyway there are four stages in knowing God on this earth. Though I could be wrong.

1. Is wanting to do it. Obviously if you do not want to know God there is no point proceeding.
2. Cleansing. If you pray to God and you do not accept you are a sinner and can not accept forgiveness exit here.
3. Illumination. Here you might have sweet feelings when you pray but these could be from the devil so do not get stuck here.
4. Finally the best you can expect is a dark night of the soul when Jesus mostly removes Himself. But you should feel good and sing a lot!
If being very hungry helps then go for it."
If you can interpret that you are better than me.


Before I could comment Richard under one of his odd aliases replied in a blog post HERE



1) You've got to seek me out. I'm not that hard to find - just read My blog.
2) You've got to pray to Me, but first of all you've got to accept that you are a sinner. You are like a weed in a beautiful flower garden, or like a cockroach who is sitting on a child's birthday cake. If you can't accept this, bugger off now.
3) When you pray to Me and Adore Me, listen out for Satan. He is never far away and is an expert in disguise. He might dress up as a bass player, or a door to door salesman, or a shop assistant, or a doctor's receptionist, or a wine expert. The bugger is everywhere! If you make sure you're praying to Me you'll feel good and I'll feel a bit better too because I like the attention.
4) The best you can expect is a dark night of the soul when I remove Myself, but you should feel good and sing a lot! Except, of course, if your singing is really bad. Maybe people who can't sing could learn the trumpet or just recite a poem? If being very hungry helps then go for it. There are always take aways if you get desperate. If lying in front of buses helps, you'll be in Heaven real soon.

Which makes no more sense than Robert.


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So. That kind of covers Padre Pio and knowing about god so let's look at some other nutty things that the church and it's followers have done.

RELICS


Relics are objects related to Saints. According to wikipedia there are three categories of relics.


1st Class

Items that are directly associated with the events of Christ’s life (manger, cross, etc.), or the physical remains of a saint (a bone, a hair, a limb, etc.). Traditionally, a martyr’s relics are often more prized than the relics of other saints. If the relic was pertinent to the way the saint died then it's stock is more valuable e.g. if a saint was flayed then his skin would be a good relic or, if his fingers were chopped off or if his fingernails were pulled out - bingo - good relic. Heads are good, a famous saint's head may be his most important relic.


2nd Class

An item that the saint wore (a sock, a shirt, a glove, etc.) Also included is an item that the saint owned or frequently used, for example, a crucifix, book etc. Again, an item more important in the saint’s life is thus a more important relic e.g. a bird bath belonging to St Francis of Assisi or a pen that writes upside down belonging to St Peter. It hasn't been mentioned that saints underpants made for good relics but I assume that there were perverts back in the day who would have liked to have a holy sniff.


3rd Class

Anything which has touched a first or second class relic of a saint. Here ist gets a bit tenuous. The third class is a bit of a catch-all for churches who didn't have the real goodies. I'm sure that there was a dispatch section in the Vatican kind of like Amazon where distant churches could order some 3rd Class relics.


Well, that's it for relics. I hope that this was educational.









5 comments:

  1. Relics? I thought that Dad said, "Relax." Another problem with translations fron the Hebrew Bible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. from the Hebrew Bible.

    I could have used my super powers to change this typo but it's not good for the enviroment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, important for those very old Curmudgeons to relax.

    ReplyDelete
  4. They can not relax until we sort out if dragons really existed sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  5. And goblins and pixies and Jim the friendly Christian guy.

    ReplyDelete

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