THE FATHERS PAT AND RICH SHOW

*SPECIAL REPORT*

You won't read this anywhere else but we have secured Father Patrick Bridgman for a debate with new kid on the block (priesthood) Richard of RBB.

Fr Richard Bassbag

Moderator - The Religious Curmudgeon

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Hello fathers.

FATHER PATRICK BRIDGEMAN: Hello The Religious Curmudgeon.

FATHER RICHARD BASSBAG: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ....

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: What's so funny Father Richard Bassbag?

FATHER RICHARD BASSBAG:  You said "Hello fathers" and it reminded me of that Alan Sherman comedy song from the 1960s .....

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Yes, I remember that. Here's a link to it so you can watch it later - ON YOUR OWN TIME.  https://youtu.be/4yFTOvO0utY Can we move on?

FATHER RICHARD BASSBAG: Sheesh! Hey, you can call me Rich.

FATHER PATRICK BRIDGEMAN: And you can call me Pat.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: OK Rich and Pat. I'll leave you to your discussion.

PAT: Thanks TRC.

RICH: Whatever, sheesh!

PAT: Hi Rich. Look. I don't want to start on the wrong foot but, if you want to get ahead in this priest game you have to be nice so I suggest that you drop that 'sheesh' thing and stop being petulant.

RICH: But The Curmudgeon says that a lot and he gets away with ...... Oh. I see what you mean.

PAT: There you go. Now they tell me that you'll be joining us soon to help run things in the old parish. Not down I hope. Ha ha.....

RICH: Ha ha ha ha (prick!) ... yes, I'm hoping to officiate at brother Rob's parish.

PAT: Brother Rob? Marist is he?

RICH: Well he certainly likes the Virgin Mary I can tell you. No, when I say brother Rob you should pay more grammatical attention. I spelled 'brother' with a lower case 'b' because he's my actual brother not a Marist Brother. I'd have used a capital 'B' if he was one of those tossers. (Sheesh!)

PAT: Sheesh! Touchy. I'm not sure if we can accomodate you there as you see I'm your brother's parish priest and there's only a job for one.

RICH: No problem. Can I just be the priest at that Anglican church that Rob cleans. It's all the same to me? 

PAT: "All the same ..." I'm flabbergasted. Did you go to a seminary?

RICH: No. I just use a hanky.

PAT: A hanky? What? Oh ..... oh I see. Eeew.

RICH: So Pat can you put a good word in for me?

PAT: Well Rich, I don't know, because I don't know those Anglican guys. Mother told me not to play with them you see.

RICH: Well fuck that for a row of donkeys.

PAT: "A row of donkeys"? What on earth are you talking about.

RICH: I'm just practicing a few silly sayings so that I can get that Catechism nonsense over to the punters.

PAT: Look Rich. I really don't think you have your heart in this. Do you think you're making the right decision?

RICH: Well, The Curmudgeon's counting on me to secure a supply source of communion hosts. We've got this little business planned ....

PAT: That's it. I'm going to tell the bishop.

RICH: OK. whatever. Hey! Do you happen you have the phone number for that Anglican church?