SAME OLD

 The New Zealand Catholic Church is in the news again facing a complaint that it is denying natural justice to survivors by keeping some of its redress process secret.

The Church of course objects to this and claims that it has a transparency policy and points to the New Zealand Catholic Bishop's Conference where just such issues were discussed.

It also advises that there is a process where complaints can be addressed:

Of course what it doesn't say is that when victims ask for some redress they aren't listened to, complaints are not upheld and everything is done in secret. See:

COMPLAINTS NOT UPHELD

I thought it best to talk to a representative of the Roman Catholic Church and who best but Robert ... no, not Robert ... Robert's new found best friend ... no, not Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull aka Posie Parker ... Doctor Father Alfred, newly arrived in Lower Hutt and bringing with him a background in science and concert piano playing which he has put further back in the background in order to promulgate the church's fairy tales, raise money from the congregation, sell indulgences, indulge in archaic and arcane rituals and to be a spiritual mentor (another one) to Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner, toilet cleaner, and threatener of eternal damnation.

I met with the doc outside the church shop in Jackson street.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: What's up doc?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Heaven. Heaven's u .... oh, I see. Ha ha - I used to love Bugs Bunny but that was before I became a priest and left behind fairy tales, fables and funny stories ....

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Yeah right. And you say that with a straight face.

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: I believe in it. I was a St Pat's boy (Silverstream) and was in the 'P' classes ...

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: And now you're a doctor. Hey, can you look at this on my back? Is it a melanoma ?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: I'm not that sort of doctor. I have a PhD in environmental science. It's Robert the ... whatever ... who insists in calling me Doctor Father Alfred. I think he's a bit of a sycophant.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: I think you mean psychopath but then, you gave all that science and music up didn't you?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Yes, like the Samaritan woman, I was confused, and the purpose and meaning of life seemed beyond me. I had dreams of being a great scientist or a famous concert pianist, but these paths did not seem to lead to fulfilment. It wasn’t until I met Jesus that I finally understood that, after all, I’m not any one of these parcels...

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Jeez ... now I'm confused ...


DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Like the Samaritan woman?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: No, like a normal person. Why would you give up a glittering career and a fantastic musical vocation to peddle this Eucharist, Ascension, Assumption, saints, martyrs and sacraments rubbish?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: I don’t necessarily need to be that great musician or that great concert pianist or that great scientist who makes the discoveries. Jesus had it covered. I could find a purpose in being able to share the love that I received, and to be able to go out there and say to people that God exists in their life, too.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Yeah - got it - burnt out eh? Either that or you're like me, a procrastinator looking for a sinecure.

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Well ..

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Look, let's move on before Robert tries to put his oar in. I just can't face having to type out that damn long and silly title he's given himself every-time he says something.

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: OK, that I can understand.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Why is the Catholic Church suppressing details of complaints against it?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: The National Office for Professional Standards appoints independent external professionals to inquire into complaints of abuse. The Complaints Assessment Committee reviews the evidence gathered in that process. The final decision on whether to uphold a complaint is made by the relevant Church authority, either a bishop or a congregational leader. Many complaints are upheld ...

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: ... Hold up there Sparky. I read that press release from Virginia Noonan the Church director for the National Office for Professional Standards too. That's just the company line you're quoting there.

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Ha ha - OK, rumbled.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: But do you believe it?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: You come to know Jesus after a period of time. And once you encounter him, nothing in your life other than following him and committing yourself to priesthood makes any sense at all.

Whatever you do you should live in such a way that the people you meet will also ask who Jesus is and you help them to be curious and fascinated by him. You look for ways to give them the life-giving water that is God’s gift to them, Jesus.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Jesus!

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Yes, Jesus.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Sheesh! That's just the Catholic propaganda brief you're reciting. Look Doc, I don't think that you can help me here - you've been brainwashed.

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Wellington Cardinal John Dew advised me to “be creative and imaginative in the ways that we preach the Gospel and make Jesus known” to an unenthusiastic society. I'm just following him on that.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Yeah, well good luck with that.

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Thanks my son.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: I'm not your son ... hey! I just had a thought. You went to Saint Patrick's Silverstream didn't you?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Yes, why?

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Did you know Father Woodcock there?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Ummm...

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Father Minto?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Ummm...

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Father Durning?

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: Err .... look I don't know what you're inferring ...

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: OK. We have to wrap it up now anyway there are some cops here and want us to move along.

DOCTOR FATHER ALFRED: I'd better go ... I've got some confessions to listen to.

THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON: Say hi to Robert for me.