No, not Father Fri, a Presbyterian saint that Richard invented - see: FRIDAY which is parallel universing (a politer way of saying plagiarism).
I thought that, given the scepticism shown by some readers as to the veracity of my reporting, I would give you two stories of saints today - one true and the other that I've made up. It's up to you readers to decide which one is true.
There will be a prize awarded to the first person to correctly identify which ... or will there?
A MORE OBSCURE CATHOLIC SAINT #1
St. Catherine of Siena (1347 – 1380): The woman Christ married with his foreskin.
In her letters, at age twenty-one when cloistered as a nun, Catherine recounted how she had experienced a “Mystical Marriage” with Jesus, entailing “a fusion with Christ’s physicality.” where Jesus placed his foreskin on her finger.
Jesus then told her to leave the convent and to go out and help the ill and the poor. Catherine did this, travelling about becoming involved in all sorts of religious, political and social affairs. While doing this she fasted to such an extreme that she died at the age of thirty three, unable to eat or drink water. Nowadays we would call that anorexia nervosa. Chalk another one up to the saints with identifiable (now) nervous or psychological disorders.
A MORE OBSCURE CATHOLIC SAINT #2
Saint Anthony of Cologne (3rd century AD — c. 250): Carried one of his own heads after being decapitated.
In the third century Anthony Clearatticus was Bishop of Cologne. When the Decian persecution of Christians took place Anthony was martyred shortly after 250 AD. It was reported that Anthony picked his head up after being decapitated, walked ten kilometres and preached a sermon the entire way before, on noticing the loss of his head he dropped down dead. Of the many accounts of this martyrdom, this is noted in detail in Butler’s Lives Of The Saints. The site where he stopped preaching and actually died was marked by a small shrine that developed into the Saint Anthony Basilica.
Anthony, as we now know, having been reliably reported in Butler’s Lives Of The Saints had two heads and should have been alright but fate conspired against him as his other head was an atheist and as such wasn't protected by a guardian angel or the Holy Spirit and also died. There was no mention of why the guardian angel or the Holy Spirit didn't intervene to stop Anthony's faithful head being decapitated. Such is the will of God.
The second one is bullshit.
ReplyDeleteRichard (of RBB)
Well I’ve got news for you sunshine.
DeleteDang!
DeleteJolly good!
ReplyDeleteI admit that I did change his name and gave him an extra head for artistic effect, but St Denis of Paris did exist (apparently) see here:
ReplyDeleteSt. Denis of Paris (3rd century AD — c. 250): Carried his own head.
Martyrdom of St Denis.
In the third century, he was Bishop of Paris. He was martyred in connection with the Decian persecution of Christians, shortly after 250 AD. Denis is said to have picked his head up after being decapitated, walked ten kilometres (six miles), and preached a sermon the entire way, making him one of many cephalophores in hagiology. Of the many accounts of this martyrdom, this is noted in detail in the Golden Legend and in Butler’s Lives Of The Saints. The site where he stopped preaching and actually died was marked by a small shrine that developed into the Saint Denis Basilica, which became the burial place for the kings of France. Another account has his corpse being thrown into the Seine, but recovered and buried later that night by his converts.
Well, the story is 'true' in the same way that nuns bilocate, friars fly and mothers are assumed into heaven but hey! Catholics like Robert believe it.
I think that it's time that the Catholic Church, if it wants to be taken seriously in the 21st century, needs to purge all these saints and the silly myths that have grown up about them. The Church should also tidy up its 'catechism' and get rid of the silly stories about the holy trinity, resurrection, ascension, transubstantiation, confession, heaven, hell, infallibility of god - existence of god - you know, all the made up stuff. They could then maybe be a force for good in society as long as they stop harbouring rapists and paedophiles.
ReplyDelete