LET'S TAKE GOD OUT OF THE EQUATION

How often has this sort of stuff been seen through history right up to current conflicts where fools on both sides of wars, disputes and religions claim that they have some god-given right to act the way they do.

In a recent post I wrote as The Curmudgeon on America's invasionary role in the Middle East Robert The Sinner referenced this in his soon to be deleted post saying:

"It seems every time there is a hiccup in the world some one says we are approaching the end times.
It's like the expectation of heaven or hell.
Heaven is not a place to come but a place that already experienced by those that invite Jesus into their hearts.
Likewise Hell is not a place to come but a place already experienced by those that choose not to."

I hadn't put religion into the equation when commenting on the murder of an Iranian terrorist but Robert immediately did. Here lies the problem. The Middle East issues are about land and resource ownership, tribal differentiation and historical grievances. These make up the reasons of invasion, war, colonisation and even genocide. For reasons of justification all antagonists use the umbrella of 'GOTT MIT UNS' and similar to try and make themselves seen in the right. It's no accident that the Americans are forever calling on a god to assist them and claiming that what they do is for god (God) and the American way. Most if not all Arabic countries do similar with calling on their moslem god or prophet Allah to give them guidance and approval in their wars and violent behaviour.

This has got (pun intended) to stop and god has to be taken out of the equation before any serious debate and long-lasting solutions found to fairly share land, wealth and opportunity.

EXPLAINING THE SEVEN SACRAMENTS

We had friends staying on the weekend just gone. One of them, Deepa is Indian of I'm not sure which religion but certainly not a Christian one.

When the dinner conversation touched on religion it was clear that she didn't have a clue about the arcane beliefs of Christians, especially Catholics. I found that it was difficult trying to explain Catholic teachings to her mainly because I don't believe in the mumbo jumbo that is expounded by the Catechism. I might as well have been trying to give her the recipe for a Voodoo spell.

I discovered that, when it came to explaining the sacraments that using everyday metaphors and allusions was more helpful than the gobbledy-goop that the nuns, brothers and priests served up to me at school.

BAPTISM

I explained this as Christian babies being born particularly dirty. They are so dirty spiritually that a priest has to give them a wash in special water. Washing is concentrated on the area of the head mainly a bit like cleaning lettuces and cabbages.

CONFIRMATION

Confirmation is like the last chance for Catholics to get out before they are locked in. The ultra-priest or bishop comes along and lays hands on the young person (usually about the age of 12). The bishop obviously gets more out of this than the young person but it's a way of showing who has the power in this relationship.

EUCHARIST

This was a biggie to explain - transubstantiation and all that but the best way to do so was to liken the body of Christ to a slice of bread. Put it in the toaster and it changes. It no longer is bread. It is now toast. Get it? No, I don't think that Deepa did either.
With the blood of Christ I used the example of making mulled wine. You start with red wine, add some herbs and spices and warm it up. It changes into mulled wine. We tried a few examples and I think Deepa got a bit pissed which is just as well because next I had to explain ....

PENANCE

Penance is like American politics. If you are at the top like being the President or the leader of the Senate you can do whatever you like and get away with it. All you have to do is deny that you've done anything wrong or, if caught out, say sorry and move on. Easy.

ANOINTING THE SICK

This is a lot like Penance. If you are old, infirm, sick or dying then you can get away with all of the bad things that you've ever done. This can include all sorts of crimes including murder. All you have to do is say "Yes I believe in that mythical being god". Easy, and as god is mythical there's no foul.

MARRIAGE

Marriage in the Catholic church is a bit like signing up for a club like a gentleman's club or for the scouts. There are all sorts of funny rules and regulations like: you can have sex but you can't enjoy it; you can only have sex to produce children; you cannot use contraception when having sex; you better be prepared to have as many children as the number of times you have sex; you can only ever marry once unless your partner dies (you cannot kill your partner - that's another rule that comes under THE COMMANDMENTS but you can, if you break this commandment get away with it on your deathbed by saying sorry - see ANOINTING THE SICK).

HOLY ORDERS

Holy Orders is like Marriage in the Catholic church but is reserved for priests and bishops - you know, those guys who like to lay their hands on young people (see Confirmation). These guys who can't get regular women marry themselves to god. It's sort of like masturbation but with the use of hands reserved for the 'laying on' (see Confirmation again).


I hope that this was helpful. Feel free to use the above explanations should you have guests from other cultures and religions staying who want to know about the SACRAMENTS.
I can do another explanatory post on THE ASCENSION, THE ASSUMPTION AND THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION but you will need to stock up on and imbibe a lot of mulled wine to aid in comprehension.

NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT

Some Christians need a good slap and I'm happy to say that the Pope is leading by example.

POPE SLAP

I like old Frank. He doesn't muck about if he's displeased. I like this clip where he pulls his hand away when he doesn't like the look of the nutter coming in for a close-up.

DON'T TOUCH ME

Even the President of the United States gets slapped away.

FUCK OFF DONALD

YOU GO FRANK!

"'CAUSE I GOTTA HAVE FAITH........... "

I made a comment on Richard's blog earlier and said, in answer to his surmising that Robert might be right and there is a god:

" Robert isn't right. There is no god and I think if there was one he'd make a lot more effort to explain himself than the diatribe that the Christian bozos put out"

It was a throwaway line but I think that by chance this is the most enlightened comment I've made in opposition to Catholicism, Christianity and religion in general.

 The official texts that all religions have published over the last (many) years and the debates, discussions, arguments, proselytising and preaching all lack something, - mainly logic.
They depend on something called 'faith' which is a way of saying "I don't know what I'm talking about but I'm right because I have this inexplicable thing called 'faith'.

Now if there was a 'supreme' being of any religion one would think that he/she/it would be a bit smarter than the average Joe and, even smarter than the smartest human being, ever. This is a given as I doubt that any religious person of any faith or denomination would accept that his or her god wasn't a cut above everyone else. QED. So, why do we have endless arguments between religious faiths, denominations, factions and religious people and agnostics and atheists if there was a real god lurking around somewhere? If there was one (or more) surely it would think up a sensible and reasoned argument for all the inferior humans to buy into.


"Am I right or am I wrong?" (Phillip Marlowe from The Singing Detective).

JESUS CHRIST!

I've noticed from reading ROBERT THE SINNER and previous blogs run by Robert that he is a bit right wing in his thinking and this, tied up with his catholic and christian beliefs would make him a perfect fit as a Republican in the 'good ol' USA.  Over there, demented analogies and ridiculous hyperbole is de rigueur in the political arena especially from the Right.

I'm sure that Robert would find President Trump to his liking and many Republican senators who share his views like this joker when likening the impeachment of Trump to Pontius Pilate's handling of Jesus.

LOUDMOUTH LOUDERMILK

These guys dig deep into the bible, catechism and other religious writings and teachings to try to validate their reactionary views on abortion, same sex marriage, contraception, euthanasia, women's rights, the Me Too movement and many other issues of conscience, morality and ethical values.

Shame on them.

INSIDE MARY - THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER

Robert The Sinner has been telling us of Mary's upbringing and the 'fact' that she was predestined to be the 'New Tabernacle'.

Now if you can understand what that's about then maybe you can explain the origins of The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny and where my socks go when I put them through the wash.

I did some exhaustive research (Googled "Mary and the new tabernacle") and discovered a world of insanity. I picked the third in the list and found some guy named Steve Ray in CATHOLIC ANSWERS who was at pains trying to explain all this. His article was called 'Mary, the Ark of the New Covenant'.
This was a confused mish-mash of bible quotes and catechism mumbo jumbo. I persevered though as I saw that there was some sort of table at the bottom. I like tables.
This one in a very tenuous way tries to draw parallels between some Old Testament activity and  Mary, purportedly mother of Jesus. This reminds me of all of that  crap that came out after JFK was assassinated trying to look for parallels between his assassination and that of Abe Lincoln.

Hold on to your hat - here goes!

The Catechism of the Catholic Church echoes the words from the earliest centuries: “Mary, in whom the Lord himself has just made his dwelling, is the daughter of Zion in person, the Ark of the Covenant, the place where the glory of the Lord dwells. She is ‘the dwelling of God . . . with men’” (CCC 2676).
The early Christians taught the same thing that the Catholic Church teaches today about Mary, including her being the Ark of the New Covenant.

Mary, the Ark As Revealed in Mary’s Visit to Elizabeth

Golden Box: Ark of the Old Covenant	Mary: Ark of the New Covenant
The ark traveled to the house of Obed-edom in the hill country of Judea (2 Sam. 6:1-11).	Mary traveled to the house of Elizabeth and Zechariah in the hill country of Judea (Luke 1:39).
Dressed as a priest, David danced and leapt in front of the ark (2 Sam. 6:14).	John the Baptist – of priestly lineage – leapt in his mother’s womb at the approach of Mary (Luke 1:41).
David asks, “How can the ark of the Lord come to me?” (2 Sam. 6:9).	Elizabeth asks, “Why is this granted me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?” (Luke 1:43).
David shouts in the presence of the ark (2 Sam. 6:15).	Elizabeth “exclaimed with a loud cry” in the presence of the Mary (Luke 1:42).
The ark remained in the house of Obed-edom for three months (2 Sam. 6:11).	Mary remained in the house of Elizabeth for three months (Luke 1:56).
The house of Obed-edom was blessed by the presence of the ark (2 Sam. 6:11).	The word blessed is used three times; surely the house was blessed by God (Luke 1:39-45).
The ark returns to its home and ends up in Jerusalem, where God’s presence and glory is revealed in the temple (2 Sam. 6:12; 1 Kgs. 8:9-11).	Mary returns home and eventually ends up in Jerusalem, where she presents God incarnate in the temple (Luke 1:56; 2:21-22).

Mary as the Ark Revealed by Items inside the Ark

Inside the Ark of the Old Covenant	Inside Mary, Ark of the New Covenant
The stone tablets of the law – the word of God inscribed on stone	The body of Jesus Christ – the word of God in the flesh
The urn filled with manna from the wilderness – the miraculous bread come down from heaven	The womb containing Jesus, the bread of life come down from heaven (John 6:41)
The rod of Aaron that budded to prove and defend the true high priest	The actual and eternal High Priest

WE'VE GOT TO MOVE

YOU'VE GOTTA MOVE

You gotta move

You gotta move

You gotta move, child

You gotta move

Oh, when the Lord get ready

You gotta move

On my way home this morning from the dentist and a few holes of golf I turned into our street and the postman's van was stopped and he was putting mail in a neighbour's postbox.
I buzzed down the passenger window to say Hi to him. Before I could do so he said:

"Peace be with you"

I wasn't sure that I'd heard him properly and said"

"How're you going?"

Having just been to the dentist though, getting some serious root canal work done, the left side of my jaw was swollen and my face was still a bit numb. It sounded like I said"

"Go with god" or something like that.

It seemed to please the postman and he ended with:

"And with you"

and drove off.

WTF!

Did I hear right? Has the postie gone doolally? Maybe he needs a bigger hat in this hot weather we're having.

I drove off to my place 10 houses along and, before going up the drive collected the mail.

This!

Richard has sent us a card - an awful christmas card that has managed to blend Santa Claus imagery with religious claptrap. I swear that he's getting worse.

The message inside said that blessings were coming from Tod and it was signed off - Richard and Shelley.

I looked at the back and saw that this is one of those Canteen cards raising money for fighting cancer and was designed by a 17 year old who has cancer. OK, it's for a good cause and well done Shelley for supporting this but ....... it's a really horrible and kitschy card. Maybe it'd go well with Robert's camp christmas stuff in his fireplace.

No wonder the postman was using god-botherer speak when he was talking to me.

At least he didn't say :

"He is risen" but maybe he's saving that up for Easter Sunday.

We've gotta move.