LIVING WITH A WOMAN (an ongoing series) #1095

"Can you sell or give away those curtain things we took down." 

Said The Old Girl this morning as she was repainting the door frames that I'd already painted (don't ask).

I folded up the curtains, dusted the curtain rods, took photos of them and created a post on Neighbourly offering them for FREE.

Just after I'd started the post I suddenly thought, looking at the photo of the curtains in situ, that there should be 4 curtains, not the two that I'd folded. There should have been two curtains to each rod.

"Where are the other two curtains?" I asked her.

She looked at me strangely.

"What other two curtains?" she asked me back.

"The other two maroon curtains to go with the sets that we're giving away" I answered.

"We're not giving the curtains away Matey" she said "and besides, those two other curtains you mention have been installed and in use to cover the new French doors ever since we took the old blinds down - BACK IN NOVEMBER!"

The two curtains that previously covered one of the side windows, that I'd forgotten about.

"Oh" I said. "So why did you ask me to put them on Neighbourly?"

"I asked you to give away the curtain rods only" she said with an unsaid 'sheesh'.

"Oops I " answered rushing to delete the Neighbourly post before I received a lot of  answers from prospective recipients.

Sheesh!

"WHAT IF ALL THESE FANTASIES COME FLAILING AROUND?"

 

LOSING MY RELIGION - R.E.M.

"Consider this
Consider this the hint of the century
Consider this the slip
That brought me to my knees, failed
What if all these fantasies come
Flailing around
Now I've said too much .........

.... That's me in the corner

That's me in the spot-light Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much, I haven't said enough .." 

*********************

This morning The Old Girl and I talked about religion which is rare for us being atheists. Admittedly The Old Girl, as an atheist, is a bit more red toothed' than I am but we generally agree that religions are a ridiculous concept and that its devotees, especially the Catholics are batshit crazy. Take Robert. Please.

We were having a discussion about something and I said "It doesn't matter - the world will blow up some time soon anyway."

That led us into talking about Putin, Russia and the imminent invasion of Ukraine. The Old Girl said that Nostradamus's prophesies might be coming true although they did focus on the Middle East. I said that the Christian crazies will all come out soon with "the end is nigh" and "repent now" messages. We then discussed that if Robert's god did come down to help the Christians he/she/it should be 'man' enough to say: "Oops. I fucked up. Sorry about that. I could have and should have prevented all of this bad stuff right from the beginning. Mea Culpa*"

Naturally any references to god, Christians and crazies led me straight to Robert. Here's his latest witter.

ROBERT'S CRAZY BOX

Robert mentions a crazy by the name of Maria Faustina Kowalska who was canonised (don't ask) as Saint Faustina.  Robert states that he's listening to a podcast series on this particular crazy as he's now finished listening to " 365 days of batshit-crazy Catholic nonsense" - an ongoing series.

Here's a link to Faustina:

Saint Faustina

And here's a summary of the contents.

 A Polish Saint, who reportedly had visions of Jesus Christ Himself (sic), is Sister Mary Faustina Kowalska.

Poland has a history of very religious people (Pope John Paul II) which is a by-product of the centuries of strife and repression that it has endured.

Born in Głogowiec, Poland in 1905, Helena Kowalska was stirred from an early age to join religious life. At the age of seven, she already knew she wanted to be a nun, though her parents didn’t support the idea. Still, religious life drew her like a magnet, and her parents would ultimately prove unable to counter its force.

In a later age she would have wanted to be a princess, an astronaut or a president.

At age nineteen, while attending a dance, Helena had a vision of Christ, who told her to drop everything and immediately travel to Warsaw to join a convent. It was a testament to her faith and piety that she set off for the capital in obedience. She joined the Congregation of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy and received her habit and religious name of Faustina in April 1926.

At this dance she probably met some charmer who told her to drop her pants and then, after spiking her drink, spirited her away kind of like those hippie cultists like Charles Manson did with naive young women in the 1960s.

In 1930, Sister Faustina was transferred to a convent in Płock, Poland, an assignment that would have an inconceivable impact on her life and on Roman Catholics everywhere.

More likely some kind of mental institution funded by the Catholic Church.

One February night, Sister Faustina was in her room when she said Jesus appeared to her, dressed in white, with red and white rays emanating from His heart. He told her to paint an image of the way He appeared, signing it with the phrase “Jezu, ufam Tobie” (Jesus I trust in you). Initially, few took her story seriously. It wasn’t until after Sister Faustina took her final vows in 1933 and was transferred to Vilnius (today the capital of Lithuania) that she was able to begin fulfilling Christ’s request of her.

This sounds hallucinogenic to me. If Faustina wasn't taking drugs or eating funny mushrooms then her own internal chemistry was creating schizoid components which explains the fantasy.

While working as a gardener in Vilnius, as part of that city’s convent of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy, Sister Faustina met Father Michael Sopoćko, who was the nuns’ confessor. She told him about her conversations with Jesus, and he was initially skeptical, going so far as to order that Sister Faustina undergo a complete psychiatric evaluation. After taking all the necessary tests, she passed and was declared mentally sound.

Father Michael Sopoćko should have been investigated. His name alone sounds suspicious and he probably lusted after Faustino who, going by that portrait of her, was easy on the eye.

Father Michael Sopoćko

 After that, Father Sopoćko was fully dedicated to helping Sister Faustina complete the mission given to her from above. He tasked an artist, Eugene Kazimierowski, to paint a picture based on Sister Faustina’s vision of Christ.

Grooming.

 

 At one point, Sister Faustina had written in her diary that Christ elaborated on His image proclaiming, the two rays denote Blood and Water. The pale ray stands for the Water which makes souls righteous. The red ray stands for the Blood which is the life of souls. These two rays issued forth from the very depths of My tender mercy when My agonized (sic) heart was opened by a lance on the Cross. These rays shield souls from the wrath of My Father. Happy is the one who dwell in their shelter, for the just hand of God shall not lay hold of him. (Diary of Sister Faustina, 

Painting the image wasn’t enough, however, as Sister Faustina had received further instructions from Christ to ensure that it would be publicly venerated and that the second Sunday of Easter become a feast day called Divine Mercy Sunday. Unfortunately, Sister Faustina would not live to see all of this come to fruition.

In 1935, she had another vision, which inspired her to write the Divine Mercy Chaplet, a rosary-based prayer recited by faithful Catholics to this day. Not very long after, Sister Faustina was diagnosed with tuberculosis and moved to a sanatorium in Krakow, Poland. She died on October 5, 1938. She had reportedly spent her last moments praying in ecstasy.

It's a pity that Fruitloop Faustina's Jesus didn't warn her that Poland, in a few short years was going to be devastated first by Nazi Germany and then by Stalinist Russia but I guess that old Jesus was more interested in having another feast day named after him.

It's all laughable really and suggests some kind of mental illness exacerbated by the fact that she was taken away at a young age and cloistered. Her fantasies suggest yearning (sexual and also missing the love of her family) that no-one in their right mind could suggest was saintly  ....oh. that's right, it's catholicism we're talking of here.

OK, let's leave it there. In the link above there is mention of how she was canonised which makes me think that given it's so easy nowadays (no longer having to be roasted alive or shot full of arrows) that I could become a saint if I pulled the right strings. Maybe Robert can give me some ideas or at least write a reference for me.






* For those who didn't make the 'P' classes back in school this means "It was my fault" in Latin.

WHEN WEIRDNESS COMES CLOSE TO HOME

We all know that the World Wide web is chock-a-block filled  with weirdness and very dangerous ideas but usually think "that's just Richard of Richard's Bass Bag" "that won't come near me" but we are deluded. Weirdness can be just around the corner or, if you are part of a blogging community like I am, emanating  from one of my many several two readers.

Imagine my consternation when perambulating through FaceBook I discovered this:

As if the bizarre image of Robert lying in a coffin wasn't disturbing enough I read this on the cover page:

As I lay alone in my bed I awoke in the early hours and said a short pray (sic) to Mary the Mother of God and heard a voice in broken English say
"Yes you can be with me, but the king must lay on the ground."
I remember when I first heard a voice say "water your spiritual garden". I did not realize (sic) what it meant until a few days after.
I'll wait for revelation or other.

I liked the intro though with :

I have a wonderful wife who is my everything and we live with her son. He has a wonderful son too.

This is sweet and caring and to me, matches what Christian people should be about. It's that other thing, and not just the coffin that scares the bejesus out of me.

I note that the last entry is more tham two years old and hope that Robert doesn't have another FaceBook account where he posts anything more recent. Mind you, it doesn't matter since it's virtually impossible to cancel FaceBook and remove posts and comments so Robert is really 'In the now'.

LETTER TO THE ROMANS

Dear Romans

You probably don't know me but my name is Paul. I was named Saul but changed that by deed poll (don't ask). Some Sicilian's were after me for some debts they claimed were outstanding, OK?

I decide that a cover story was needed so decided to become an Apostle. I had some nice cards made up - I've attached one to the letter for you to keep"

Paul

The Apostle

"My mission is to bring about the obedience of faith among all the Gentiles”

Look I'm looking forward to meeting you guys, I truly am, you guys are the best. I always say this - ask anyone - the Ephesians maybe. Anyway, is there any chance you can put a good word in for me with old Papa? I want to preach in your burg soon. It'll be nothing controversial, you know, a bit of narrative. I'll have to mention the Jews, sorry, but I'll throw in a few jokes to lighten it up. This will have to be necessary, the jokes I mean because some of the sermon might get a bit heavy (man). 

Old Goddy wants me to talk about the Gospel. I know, I know, dullsville but, hey. he's the boss OK? He's given me some quotes for example:  “The Gospel is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed through faith for faith” . 

Told you.

You know the background but here's a bit of a summary:

The state of humanity was in pretty bad shape before Jesus came along (according to him) but he brought with him  the possibility of salvation through faith in Jesus. You know how the  Gentiles worshipped idols, disdaining devotion to God and all - oh sorry, yeah most of you guys are Gentiles and worship idols and all. Anyway,  the Jews failed to follow the law properly, and acted hypocritically by proclaiming allegiance to Jewish law while surreptitiously sinning. Bastards!

God though, Jesus's dad, or well Jesus, he ..... I get a bit confused about this stuff but Goddy/God/Jesus apparently made a promise to the Jews like years ago that they were his chosen people and that if they chopped off a bit of their wedding tackle they would be able to show Goddy at judgement time that they were part of the club as it were. The thing is though, Jesus Goddy decided to change the rules a bit and said to the Jews that the ancient promise 'symbolised' by circumcision, doesn't bring automatic salvation: “A person is a Jew who is one inwardly, and real circumcision is a matter of the heart—it is spiritual”. Well, you can see that this pissed them off a bit which is why there was that kerfuffle at Golgotha.

 The boss also me to also say that we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under the power of sin. I guess he wants the Romans included in that.

Sorry, I told you that it was a bit heavy.

Look, I'll leave you with a little joke to help lighten things OK:

What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

Ha, ha .... see you guys soon, 

Paul

NORWICH

 

NORWICH - ALAN BENNETT

Bless your little bottyboos, old Frank has finally come out with a sensible ruling in the Catholic Church.

Lust is not the worst of the seven deadly sins, according to Pope Francis.

The leader of the Catholic Church has come out saying there are worse indiscretions than having sex outside of marriage, in an interview with reporters while en route from Greece to Italy.

"Sins of the flesh are not the most serious," the 84-year-old religious leader said regarding sex outside of marriage. Top transgressions instead include pride and hatred, according to Reuters.

 Does this mean that Robert and his fellow Catholics can now put it about or at least have a guilt-free bonk if he has sex with no intention of procreation?

Time will tell. 

O

 

WHAT'S AMISS? NO, POLYPHEMUS.

 Well, the previous post went down well - generally.

It elicited a rather muted comment of praise from Robert which morphed into a bit of nonsensical ramble about god, morality and freedom of choice. See here.

Sorry about the rather strongly worded comment from Richard. I think he's stressed out from having to drive to Rotorua.

Anyway - Robert's comment. It began with a confusing metaphor about being one-eyed which is a bit rich coming from a catholic whose view of the world is definitely cyclopian. It then spiralled off into some sort of suggestion that his god could have created us as robots programmed to love it yet then said that it created us with a choice to love it or not being between a rock and a hard place. Sheesh! I'd hate to be having morning tea at his place and having to choose between a picture of a cream bun or a rock to eat.