No, EUCHARIST!
You might not have heard but Robert got a taste of Hell yesterday - no, not from reading Richard's blog, he should be used to that by now - no, he wasn't able to go to Sunday Mass due to Covid restrictions and missed out on taking Holy Communion.
This is a biggie for Robert who gets a warm glow from consuming what he believes is Jesus's flesh and he likes to indulge in fantasies while looking at the crucified Jesus and the statues of the Virgin Mary (don't ask).
From the comfort of his own home (safely locked in the bathroom) he can er, contemplate his favourite images via the numerous 'holy pictures' that he has stashed about the place. He particularly likes the ones with the exposed hearts for some reason.
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| Yummy |
That's OK as far as it goes but no doubt Robert will still crave that host with its initial dry texture and, as it melts on the tongue, the slimy doughy sensation that he savours before swallowing.
What to do?
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Fortunately The Curmudgeon has experience with communion hosts see: MINE HOST and has spent some time seeking out commercially available alternatives given that he no longer has connections with the Catholic Church or The Home of Compassion in Wellington where the hosts are made for the local churches. The alternatives have needed to be embellished with toppings though given their bland taste and texture. See:HERE
By coincidence I've come across a viable substitute. Some friends who came to stay recently brought some crackers and left them here. I found them in the pantry on Saturday, unopened, and tried them. Bloody delicious!
And, they are very thin, wafer thin not unlike a communion host.
The wafers are just smaller than the hosts that priests use to celebrate Mass but larger than the measly ones that are given out to the congregation. You can get a decent mouthful of Christ with one of these babies.
They have that "initial dry texture and, as it melts on the tongue, the slimy doughy sensation that he savours before swallowing" but with a magic ingredient - taste.
I reckon that Robert could have a lot of fun with these on Sunday mornings and he could pretend to be one of the congregation or, if he dressed up in an old tablecloth covered by a net curtain could take on the role of the priest.
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🎵"Well come and listen to my story about a man named Jed Jesus"🎵 |
HOC EST CORPUS MEUM
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Don't expect too many comments on this post. Most people will be busy commenting on mine.
ReplyDeleteI did.
DeleteI recommend that you pick your grapes riper next time.
ReplyDeleteWhat I do not understand is the Presbyterians who celebrate the eucharist saying it is just done in memory of Jesus. Then some elucidate individual with maybe a Ph D in Geology gives a sermon and hands out bits of bread to the congregation. Surely the Catholics have a better case for arguing lineage from St Peter?
ReplyDeleteGosh, what a choice to make.
DeleteShould we put our trust in Presbyterians who do as Jesus apparently instructed and remember the last supper by breaking bread and eating it or should we believe Catholics who seem to think that a highly processed wafer somehow miraculously becomes the actual body of a very long dead person.
Mmmm ....... I know which lot I'd go with.