" ... FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE ..."

 I read today that Pope Frank is looking to change the rules and the Catholic Church will in the near future allow priests to marry.

I hope that this does happen as it's long overdue.

I like old Frank - he's dragging the silly Catholic Church, kicking and screaming into the real world and is addressing, not turning a blind eye to its many problems. It's unlikely though that this backward organisation would allow female priests or same sex marriages among priests but it's a start.

Let's look at a domestic scenario with a married priest and his wife:

PRIEST: Mary - have you seen my stole?

MRS PRIEST: It's in your socks drawer. Sheesh! Do I have to know where all of your silly stuff is?

PRIEST: It's not silly Mary. You know that it's important and I have to have ...

MRS PRIEST: Yeah, yeah. Your amice, alb, cincture, maniple, chasuble, dalmatic, surplice - boy, do I need to go on? Boys and their toys.

PRIEST: You know that I have to look good. That Father Devon Haier is always trying to show me up ...

MRS PRIEST: Father 'Debonair' - OK, why don't you marry him then?

PRIEST: Mmmmm  (blushing) ... you know that Il Papa wouldn't allow that - anyway, I'm married to you my sweet.

MRS PRIEST: Mmmm.

PRIEST: Look I've got to get going. It's an important Mass this morning with all the kids training for their First Communion ...

MRS PRIEST: Here we go again. It's bloody Sunday. Don't you ever get a day off? I wanted to go to the beach to show off my new swimming costume.

PRIEST: Mary, you knew when you married me that I'd have to work on Sundays and besides - do you think it appropriate for a priest's wife to be wearing those skimpy thong things?

MRS PRIEST: At least it gets me noticed. Umm - do you have to go so early? Why don't you come back to bed for a wee lie-in?

PRIEST: No, I've got to go. Jesus is waiting.

MRS PRIEST: Well put the bloody rubbish bins out on the way!

PRIEST: Sheesh!

MRS PRIEST: And don't forget your silly stole.

PRESS BUTTONS*

 

Will Robert?

He's been flirting with Presbyterianism for sometime now and often regales with stories about how awfully austere their churches are compared to his beloved catholic churches:

This kind of suggests that Robert sees 'him' everywhere in his catholic church. I blame the cleaning chemicals he breathes.

There are more but I guess that you get the idea. Robert doesn't approve of Presbyterianism. He'd rather see his Christ all gory with fresh blood and gristle glistening in the candlelight. Yum! I guess it gives him an appetite for confession and satisfies his carnal desires.

So what is it about Presbyterianism that he doesn't like?

Christianity FCKU  FAQ has this to say:

OK, so they have the same origin, share similarities and both expound a myth about some fantastical being creating and controlling our lives. Why do they have to argue about something that's inherently nonsense?

Another Catholic source, badly written, probably by someone from the Philippines says:

"The difference between Presbyterian and Catholic is that Presbyterianism is a reformed tradition from Protestantism. In contrast, Catholicism is the Christian methodology, where Catholicism implies the Roman Catholic Church. Presbyterian believes that, a priority of Scriptures, faith in God. Sovereignty in God, where Catholics believe that Jesus Christ cure human sins and Jesus Christ is the son of God. Five hundred thousand people follow Presbyterianism. The other way out, 17.4 percent of people were following Catholicism. Presbyterians are Protestant while Catholics are not.

The Catholic Church can trace its lineage and history all the way back to the apostle Peter, who Catholics view as a kind of first pope. As such, the Catholic faith is viewed as the oldest and most “traditional” form of Christianity. Protestantism is a type of reformed Christianity that focuses less on church structure and more on the Bible alone. Both Protestants and Catholics believe in the Holy Trinity, the rebirth of Jesus, and the divinity of the Bible.
A Protestant is simply anyone who follows a Christian faith that broke away from the Catholic Church during the aptly named Protestant Reformation. Other Protestant faiths include the Lutheran, Baptist, and Evangelical traditions."

As well as being difficult to read it's arrogant but this goes with catholic hubris.

"Why Presbyterianism?" you might ask. Well, this morning on my walk the little Presbyterian church at the end of our road looked really nice in the sunlight.

It makes you want to rush in and pray to Jesus ...

... not really.

* What we used to call Presbyterians when I was at school.

HOLY BALLS BATMAN!

 

I recall Robert saying in a recent post or a comment that the Catholic Church is the only religion responsible for the bible and its 'truths'.

He basically believes that if it's not in the bible then it's fake news or at least suspect.

It being a slow day yesterday, I was browsing through some old books from the bookcase - 'The Globe Complete Works of Shakespeare', 'The Complete Guide to Opera',  'The Treasury of Catholic Doctrine' among others* and discovered some pretty alarming Bible references.

Like this one:

Leviticus 21: 16-24

 The Lord said to Moses, “Say to Aaron: ‘For the generations to come none of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; no man with a crippled foot or hand,  or who is a hunchback or a dwarf, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles.

Well I've got poor eyesight and the hearing's going so I guess that rules me out of getting close to Robert's god. At least the goolies are still intact.

 

* This has given me a good idea for a new post series - 'Old Books in the Bookcase'.

THERE MUST BE AN ANGEL

Years ago, when it was my turn to choose a film to go to, I cajoled The Old Girl into seeing 'Wings of Desire' by Wim Wenders. Wenders was a favourite of mine at the time, along with Rainer Werner Faisbinder and Werner Herzog - the golden boys of modern German cinema.

This followed on from a couple of chick flick choices of hers that I complained about - 'The Remains of the Day' and 'Love Actually'.

She complained bitterly about 'Wings of Desire' calling it dark, dreary and unbearably long. I admit that it was dark and dreary - and long but I like those sort of 'art' films. She's just lucky that I didn't take her to see Andrzej Zulawski's 'Possession' that I like.

***********************

Wings of Desire  is a story about an angel who is sick of his celestial life overseeing humans in Berlin. He desires love and  physical existence and falls in love with a mortal.

Visible only to those like them and to human children, Damiel and Cassiel are two angels, who have existed even before man was 'created'. They and several other angels wander around Berlin, observing and preserving life and providing comfort to the troubled, although those efforts are not always successful. One day, Damiel tells Cassiel that he wants to become human, to feel not only the sensory aspects of physical beings, but also emotional aspects. He embarks on this thought with the full realisation that there is no turning back if he decides to do so. His thoughts are largely because he has fallen in love with Marion, the trapeze artist with the circus. If he does decide to become a human, there is no guarantee that as a human that he will be able to locate Marion or that she will return his affection. His angels, however, may be looking out for him.

I like a scene where Damiel, helping a suicide victim, gets distracted by the thought of his acrobat fantasy lover and accidentally pushes the human off a building.

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"Why Wings of Desire as a post?" you might ask. Well, Robert, in a recent post wrote something so nonsensical and bizarre that I couldn't stop thinking of 'Wings of Desire'.

Well - what do you think about that? Wim Wenders has nothing on Robert's notions of the bizarre and belief in fairy tales. There are a couple of things he says that need highlighting:

• "They are there for everyone regardless of the person's knowledge of facts".

            Is Robert saying here that these things exist even though it's an impossibility for them to do so?

 

• "Recently. last Christmas I walked into the dining room as the tablecloth was catching fire. I blew it out somehow. Guardian angel!"

          What does this have to do with Robert's guardian angel? There are two possibilities relating to the            angel:

          1. The angel somehow caused Robert to go into the dining room in time to stop a fire or,

          2. The angel deliberately lit the fire. I prefer the second scenario.

• "Of course Guardian Angels are Spirit. We think of them as "he" because they choose to appear in a male form!"

         This gob-smacks me. Robert has never seen a guardian angel (remember that 'knowledge of facts'            statement). He would have seen depictions of guardian angels as portrayed in pre and post                        Renaissance, Romanticism and Neo'Classicism art.

Antonio Zona (1814-1892)

Robert - these are not real.

There are many paintings of devils, dragons, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy as well.

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You probably gather from this that I don't believe in angels - arch, guardian or otherwise. They are a fabrication invented by many different religions including Greek and Roman, Judaism, Islam and of course the many Christian religions. I was brought up as a Christian though - a Catholic, attending schools with teachers who were nuns, brothers and priests. My mother was religious but not as fervent as Robert is. She gave me a 'confirmation' name of Michael after the Arch-angel Michael.

"Oops!"

Michael, also called Saint Michael the Archangel, Saint Michael the Taxiarth in Orthodoxy and Archangel Michael is an archangel in Judaism, Christianity, Islam and the Baha'i faith. The earliest surviving mentions of his name are in 3rd- and 2nd-century BC Jewish works, often but not always apocalyptic, where he is the chief of the angels and archangels and responsible for the care of Israel. Christianity adopted nearly all the Jewish traditions concerning him, and he is mentioned explicitly in Revelation 12:7–12, where he does battle with Satan, and in the Epistle of Jude, where the author denounces heretics by contrasting them with Michael.

          -Wikipedia. 

I guess that my mother was covering all options there.

ATHEISM LEAVING MY BODY

You no doubt have heard the aphorism "there are no atheists in foxholes".

While unattributable, it's certain that its origin is American from WW2 probably the Pacific Campaign.

We're under fire up here from Cyclone Gabrielle which is already wreaking havoc and set to do further damage. An hour ago we received warnings on our cellphones of a 7-day emergency in the north. Bloody hell!

Yesterday I wrote a flippant post about the possibility that the cyclone is driven by an archangel (whatever that is) under god's (whatever that is) direction: GLOOM etc. I admit that I was a bit facetious in imagining a phone call from god - sorry goddy - but didn't realise how vicious Archangel Gabriel was going to be.

Just to be on the safe side, I promise to say 10 'Hail Mary's' and an 'Our Father' - oh - I'll throw in that little ditty about the Holy Ghost if I can remember it. Just as well I was a little catholic boy at school eh.

 

ROBERT BELIEVES IN MIRACLES

 I guess that Robert will be moving to Kenya soon.

As for me, I'd be telling that guy in front to sit the fuck down.

PELLMELL TO HELL

A priest  named Cardinal George Smell

Due to a liking of small boys, fell

Both popes Francis and Benedict 

Refused to convict

But old George is still going to Hell

 

OK, it's not a very good limerick but it does give you an idea. Cardinal George Smell has died, soon after his protector and mate ex Pope Benedict XVI.

The Catholic Church, aided by two popes - Benedict XVI and Francis obstructed attempts to expose Pell as a pedophile and dragged their heels in the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF)'s investigation into the charges, waiting to see if the Australian courts convicted Pell. When the courts didn't they conveniently dropped the investigation.

Sometimes I wish that Robert (Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner and toilet cleaner) was right and that there is a hell waiting to take in bad people like Pell. May he not rest in peace.