FOR ROBERT - 15 GRAMMES AND WHAT DO YOU GET...?

 

I was listening to an interview with a pathologist on the radio today. 

Dr Temple-Camp, New Zealand's leading pathologist talked of his new book Final Diagnosis and some  cases of death, disease and murder that prove that sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 

HERE

Of interest to Robert might be his belief that bodies have souls and he told of a study made of dying and dead people to investigate this. Temple-Camp said that in the studies, dying people were weighed very accurately just before death and then just after the point of death and the measurements were compared. On average the difference (I think) was 15 grammes. Before tour resident Wainuiomata scatologist interrupts I need to say that evacuation of waste, blood and bodily fluids was controlled and not a factor in this. It is intriguing and Temple-Camp thinks that the 15 grammes might represent the soul departing the body.

Food for thought?

INQUISITION

 

We have, just to hand, a transcript from the Catholic Archdiocese of Wellington who called a special synod to discuss the suspected heresy and desertion of one of its members.

The transcript is very long (and boring) as you'd expect and bangs on seemingly forever about Catholic mysticism and a lot of other silly things. The gist of it is though that Robert the catholic cleaner was caught cleaning at an Anglican church and summoned to appear at the synod to explain himself. The presiding bishop - Bishop Loveboy, assisted by Father Fromm-Methebetta on secondment from The Vatican wrapped up proceedings as follows:

**continues**

Bishop Loveboy:  ... so Robert, you admit that you were seen, on numerous occasions, habituating the Anglican temple of demonomancy and heresy and ...

Robert the catholic cleaner: ... umm... I don't do that your honour.

Bishop Loveboy: What? Stop mumbling boy. What don't you do?

Robert the catholic cleaner: ... umm... I don't do that with my hands your honour. It's a sin ...

Bishop Loveboy: You're making no sense boy, I've got a good mind to ...

Father Fromm-Methebetta: Ah - if I mightta makea tha suggestion Excellency - I thinka he meansa the masturbation.

Bishop Loveboy: Eeew! Get your mind out of the gutter boy. This is the Catholic Church here. I meant that you were seen inside that evil place.

Robert the catholic cleaner: Oh, right, rightyo um guilty as charged your honour.

Bishop Loveboy: OK - we can wrap this up then - let's ...

Robert the catholic cleaner: Umm .. your honour?

Bishop Loveboy: What is it boy. Can't you see that I'm busy. I've got to excommunicate you - its a pity we can no longer flog you or burn you at a stake - and then I've got to go fidd .. er I've got some little problematic jobs to do.

Robert the catholic cleaner: Umm, your honour, it's just that when I was cleaning the Catholic church, my local and the one that you used to be parish priest at years ago, I found in a back cupboard a little journal with names in it ...

Bishop Loveboy: (blanching) Um um um a little journal you say? Whose is it do you think?

Robert the catholic cleaner: It's yours your honour. It has your name written in the front. It says "This journal belongs to Father Loveboy please return it immediately without reading it if you find it."

Bishop Loveboy: Ha ha ... I see um, you didn't read it did you boy?

Robert the catholic cleaner: Well, as I cannot tell a lie your honour, yes I did. It had a lot of names written in it.

Bishop Loveboy: Ha ha. Names you say? Ha ha. Anything else boy?

Robert the catholic cleaner: Alongside each name - which was a name of one of the altar boys - was a little description of what they liked or didn't like and some detail of what you di ....

Bishop Loveboy: Ha ha. That'll do boy - let's just leave that there shall we. Look, I don't think we need to proceed any further. You are obviously innocent of all charges and can go ... um, can I have that little book Robert? Just for old times sake eh. Father Fromm-Methebetta?

Father Fromm-Methebetta: Yessa, I agreea itsa betta we leava thingsa as they area. Umma, can I helpa with thosea er 'leetle jobs' you have a to do nexta?

Bishop Loveboy: Sure no problem. We can look at the problem from both ends as it were that way. Let's hurry.

**Ends**

YAH, BOO, SUCKS!

 I find it interesting that Rob the artist formerly known as 'Robert the christian guy who sees things in the sky and who is a sinner who cleans toilets even in Anglican churches etc.' (Boy, no wonder he changes his name), has been quiet about the proposed new Catholic saint Carlo Acutis - the first millennial saint.

 

A British-born teenager who died of leukemia at age 15 in 2006 is set to be recognized as the Catholic Church’s first millennial saint, the Vatican announced Thursday.

Nicknamed “God’s Influencer,” Carlo Acutis was known for his computer prowess and spreading Roman Catholic teachings online. Acutis was born in London in 1991, before his Italian parents Andrea Acutis and Antonia Salzano relocated to Milan.

In his short lifetime, Acutis taught himself how to code, created a website to document miracles, and provided his tech services to local Catholic organizations. “Carlo was the light answer to the dark side of the web,” his mother Salzano told the New York Times in 2020, when he was first beatified and put on the path towards sainthood.

His story “can be used to show how the internet can be used for good, to spread good things,” his mother added.

Acutis, a regular attendee of daily mass, first expressed interest in attending church as a toddler, Salzano told Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera. Acutis carried out charitable acts for local citizens and supported his peers through hardship, his father added. Following his death in 2006, the Diocese of Assisi petitioned the Vatican to recognize Acutis as a saint.

On Thursday, the Medical Council of the Congregation for Saints’ Causes—a unit that examines the validity of miracles for the Catholic church—said it has investigated a second miracle relating to Acutis. Vatican News reported that a Costa Rican woman named Liliana prayed at Acutis’ tomb in the Umbrian town of Assisi on July 8, 2022, for her 21-year-old daughter Valeria Valverde.

Valeria had incurred severe head trauma from a cycling accident days before, and underwent an emergency craniotomy to reduce pressure on her brain.

The Vatican said the prayer invoked a same-day miracle that saw Valeria breathing on her own, as well as regaining some mobility and speech. The Vatican added that by July 18, CAT scans showed Valeria had stopped hemorrhaging and she began a rapid recovery. She was discharged from intensive care after 10 days.

It was this that moved Pope Francis to gather Cardinals for a meeting to discuss Acutis’ sainthood. The Pope canonized 912 people, but Acutis would be the first individual born after 1926.

Acutis was already attributed with a miracle from 2020, whereby a child with a rare pancreatic disorder made a full recovery after coming into contact with a T-shirt belonging to the late teenager.

           TIME magazine

Now we know from Rob's posts that he was kind of hanging out for this position himself, hoping that he would be the first catholic blogging saint. Carlos's beatification has kiboshed those dreams it seems.

You will recall this that he posted a couple of months ago:

This is how I want people to remember me.

Rob The Blessed

"As there is an ocean between saying and doing so too there is an ocean of mercy just out there for the taking. So hop along to Mass and the sacraments and get that vote in for me to be the new Internet Blogging saint of the Catholic Church."

- Rob's blog 4/06/24

You'll also recall that he has been cosying up to Jesus hoping that he'd put a good word in for him at the Vatican:

"Thanks big guy - and don't forget, the cheque's in the mail."

All for nothing now though - well done Carlo.

I STARTED A JOKE ... *

 Someone started a thread in this blogging community and it is unravelling at a fast pace, spurred on from some theological nonsense courtesy of Robert. I'd provide a link but he seems to have deleted the posts or I can't access them on his blog for some reason - probably because it's Sunday and atheists are forbidden entry.

The thread is about the ridiculous constructs of the Catholic Church with particular reference to the concept of Transubstantiation where Robert promised to explain what this means but instead copied the almost entire 'proof' from the Vatican which ran to far more words than I cared to read.

It reminds me of this Bee Gees song:

Well it confuses the bejesus out of me (which I guess is the pun origin of the band's name).

If my mother was alive today she'd call me a heathen and I have an aunt who, like Robert, believes all of the Catholic Church's mumbo jumbo and would cut me off if she read the 'blasphemous' things I go on about.

I'll wait - "..... waiting, waiting ..." for Robert to resurface and write what he truly believes (not from that silly Catholic 'faith' thing) concerning the Eucharist and Transubstantiation means in layman's terms.

I'm not going anywhere ..... well, maybe to Hell.

* Actually the 'joke' started back in the 4th century when the Catholic Church made up all this nonsense and pretended that it stemmed from Jesus during his life more than 3 centuries earlier.

BATHE YOUR PIGS

 

I wrote a silly post about Catholic saints and their bogus exploits see: HERE

This is part of a sort of a series where I, usually after Robert has banged on about some histrionic cloistered virgin in a nunnery who saw Jesus, knocked off a post of either some 'real' according to the Catholic Church saint or one that I just invented. It's hard to tell the difference.

In the latest post I made this comment myself:

It is time that the Catholic Church and indeed any Christian organisations - any religions really - started treating people like intelligent humans and stopped pushing hogwash to them.

I cannot understand why mature, educated and reasonably intelligent people can buy into concepts of a god or gods creating them and ruling their lives. If that wasn't preposterous enough the religions - and the Catholic Church seems to be the best or worse at this, fabricate all sorts of bizarre and mystical nonsense to obfuscate the shallowness of the concept. Resurrected beings who miraculously go up to a heaven feature quite a bit along with the notion of said heaven and its counterpart hell for the non-believers and miscreants. As if that wasn't enough - WAIT THERE'S MORE - Christianity propagates (it borrows most of the nonsense from older religions) the idea of virgin birth, ascension and assumption into heaven, being cast down into hell, consuming the real flesh and blood of a living Jesus, being born with original sin and only baptism into the relevant religion will wash it away, sinning all the time requiring confession, absolution and penance usually accompanied with gifting and tithing. I could go on but you know the rest.

All this shit is packaged up like a gift-wrapped turd and presented to a surprisingly willing populace. We can't blame social media for this which itself dupes a surprisingly willing populace because religion has been hog-washing people since day dot and is both directly and indirectly responsible for wars, genocide, social unrest, murders, family disruption and just about everything bad in the world - all while hiding behind some presumption of goodness and love. Give me a break.

I'd like Robert to comment on this and seeing that he subscribes to Catholic websites and publications and follows podcasters like Trent Horn and other Christian and Catholic apologists maybe he could solicit comment from them. Failing that he could just stick his hand up at Mass - during the sermon so he doesn't disrupt the mumbo-jumbo - and ask the priest why Middle Ages and earlier thinking and writings with its associated ill-informed and superstitious beliefs still dominate Christian thinking and worship today in the twenty-first century.

THE MORE OBSCURE CATHOLIC SAINTS - PART SIX

 No, not Father Fri, a Presbyterian saint that Richard invented - see: FRIDAY which is parallel universing (a politer way of saying plagiarism).

I thought that, given the scepticism shown by some readers as to the veracity of my reporting, I would give you two stories of saints today - one true and the other that I've made up. It's up to you readers to decide which one is true.

There will be a prize awarded to the first person to correctly identify which ... or will there?

A MORE OBSCURE CATHOLIC SAINT #1

St. Catherine of Siena (1347 – 1380): The woman Christ married with his foreskin.

In her letters, at age twenty-one when cloistered as a nun, Catherine  recounted how she had experienced  a “Mystical Marriage” with Jesus, entailing “a fusion with Christ’s physicality.” where Jesus placed his foreskin on her finger. 

 Jesus then told her to leave the convent and to go out and help the ill and the poor. Catherine did this, travelling about becoming involved in all sorts of religious, political and social affairs. While doing this she fasted to such an extreme that she died at the age of thirty three, unable to eat or drink water. Nowadays we would call that anorexia nervosa. Chalk another one up to the saints with identifiable (now) nervous or psychological disorders.

A MORE OBSCURE CATHOLIC SAINT #2

Saint Anthony of Cologne (3rd century AD — c. 250): Carried one of his own heads after being decapitated.

In the third century Anthony Clearatticus was Bishop of Cologne. When the Decian persecution of Christians took place Anthony was martyred shortly after 250 AD. It was reported that Anthony picked his head up after being decapitated, walked ten kilometres and preached a sermon the entire way before, on noticing the loss of his head he dropped down dead. Of the many accounts of this martyrdom, this is noted in detail in Butler’s Lives Of The Saints. The site where he stopped preaching and actually died was marked by a small shrine that developed into the Saint Anthony Basilica. 

Anthony, as we now know, having been reliably reported in Butler’s Lives Of The Saints had two heads and should have been alright but fate conspired against him as his other head was an atheist and as such wasn't protected by a guardian angel or the Holy Spirit and also died. There was no mention of why the guardian angel or the Holy Spirit didn't intervene to stop Anthony's faithful head being decapitated. Such is the will of God.

THE MORE OBSCURE CATHOLIC SAINTS - PART FIVE

I know that some readers think that I make these saints up but, believe me, sometimes fact is much stranger than fiction.

Take St. Joseph of Cupertino for example. He's (hardly) known as the levitating saint.

St.Joseph used to levitate in rapturous ecstasy any time someone mentioned Jesus. I guess that he wouldn't have wanted to hang around builders and carpenters who were at risk of hitting their thumbs with a hammer or to be near people in barefoot stubbing their toes.

St. Joseph of Cupertino lived in the 17th century and was - no surprises here - a priest and monk with mental disabilities. That's par for the course really when it comes to Robert's saints. Old St. Joe had such a simple yet deep love for Jesus (and other saints apparently) that he would go into ecstasy and levitate upon hearing their names - especially as you'd expect, in church. It's just as well the churches of his day had very high vaulted ceilings. I wonder if any enterprising church cleaners contracted him to do a bit of dusting up there and remove spiderwebs, birds nest and rodent droppings?

This ability turned out to be both a blessing and a curse for St. Joseph of Cupertino.  He levitated in front of huge crowds during public processions and became a massive sensation amongst those that followed him - probably placing bets on when he'd fall on his ahead (again). The crowds became a problem for the Church who moved him from monastery to monastery (an exercise that they had and still do have experience in while moving paedophiles), keeping his location a secret, but his location was usually discovered fairly quickly, and the crowds would return. Joseph once had an audience with the pope and took off probably after being introduced to the guy. I hope he let go of his hand during the handshake before he flew off to the ceiling.

In 1962 a film was made about him titled The Reluctant Saint.

That's St. Joseph disappearing off in the upper left corner.

Here's a guy in a dress who will tell you about the film 'based on a true story'.

Riveting. This guy should drop the priesthood and make a career in film reviewing.

St. Joseph of Cupertino is the patron saint of air travellers, aviators, astronauts, and people with a mental handicap. I guess that they all go flying in their own ways.