WEIRD SCIENCE

 I wrote a bit of nonsense in that previous post about the possibility of Richard returning to the Catholic Church. I named it THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON.

I should have known that Robert would find fault in that:

I'm not sure if he's in biblical mode there and getting confused about the parable or if he's making a leap to include himself in my bit of nonsense and suggesting that he feels left out that Father Inthebetta favours Richard over him. Either way I replied that he's confusing the parable of the Prodigal Son with the story of Cain and Abel.

For the heathens out there (and anyone with a life) here's a quick outline of what those biblical stories are about:

The main message of The Prodigal Son is that it doesn't matter how far we stray from God or how we reject his 'gifts', he, she or it is always happy when we return to the fold. God's unconditional love is waiting for us to return home where he, she or it greets us with open arms.

The tragic story of Cain and Abel teaches us a valuable lesson about how to live with sincerity. Their example shows that we learn how not just our actions, but our attitudes matter to God – and how devastating sin's consequences can be. As long as you love him, her or it you can get away with anything.

OK, and you thought that my previous post was nonsense. Here's a good parody of a bible story for you:

 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, which was not a bad start, considering how things have turned out a trillion or so years later. Nowadays, a substantial majority of His creatures great & small entertain the notion that life is a meaningless nightmare & wonder what was the big idea. Speaking of big ideas, here is another possibility: the Big Bang. Kaboom! Those were the days. And darkness was on the face of the deep. According to one school of thought it should have stayed there. And then there never would have been any Aztec Indians to wake up one morning and find themselves face to face with the civic minded Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez, who would torture them and destroy their civilization. For one thing. Yes & my father would not have climbed into his rowboat at daybreak on June 14, 1931. Little did I know that he was about to stick his oars in the water and row out of my sight forever. When my father took off at daybreak, I thought he was just going fishing. Thanks a lot, Spirit of God. And God saw everything that He had made, & behold, it was very good. Dare I add: Little did He know. Those were the days.

This New Yorker writer rewrites first chapter of Bible in style of Kurt Vonnegut.

RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON

There's some big news in Catholicland today - Richard (of RBB) might be returning to the fold.

For those who dont know Richard is a famous well known retired schoolteacher and musician who usually resides in Wainouiomata but is often seen lurking around other parts of the Hutt Valley - like Silverstream.

Some time ago Richard, who had been educated brought up in the Catholic faith under the guidance and manipulations ministrations of nuns, brothers and priests, renounced his religion and cast many a bad aspersion about religion and the Catholic Church in particular.

Yesterday, like Saul on the way to Damascus, Richard made a confession of sorts. Admittedly the confession was guised under the form of blaming another blogger, and wasn't about anything particularly heinous but 'from little acorns grow ...'.

We thought it opportune to have a discussion with Richard and so arranged for a representative of the Wellington Catholic archdiocese to have a meeting with him. The notes of the meeting follow:

FATHER INTHEBETTA:  Hello Richard. I'm glad that you could make this meeting. Would you like a glass of wine? Here's the wine list - my shout.

RICHARD (OF  RBB):    Thanks Father - hey! This place is fancy. Where are the cleanskins?                            

FATHER INTHEBETTA: Mmmm? I'm not sure what you mean. This is the place that we normally dine and have drinks in - 'The Mother of God's Milk'. I've never thought of it as expensive. I just sign the tab that we keep going here. Someone tops it up each week - some funny little fellow named Robert the something or other.

RICHARD (OF RBB):     Robert the apathetic sinner and toilet cleaner?

FATHER INTHEBETTA: Mmmm? Yes, that's the chap. Listen (sotto voce) between us, we caught him taking suspicious photographs of a statue of The Virgin Mary and have blackmailed him for our silence on the matter as long as he keeps the tab going here. That'll teach him for cleaning those Protestant churches.

RICHARD (OF RBB):    Ha ha - nice one Father.

FATHER INTHEBETTA: Just call me Dad my son.

RICHARD (OF RBB):    OK Dad. Look, you must know about cleanskins. I wrote about it in my blog. Your agent, The Religious Curmudgeon said that you'd read my confession about the number of bottles of cleanskin chardonnay I go through.

FATHER INTHEBETTA: Oh, that. No, I didn't read it - are you mad? We just thought that it was time to get you back. You've been causing a bit of trouble 'out there' what with not  only what you say but your alter egos Angry Jesus and Evil Doctor Richard who to be honest are a bit off the wall.

RICHARD (OF RBB):     OK, I'll have a McDonald's Church Road Reserve Hawkes Bay Chardonnay 2018. It's a bit salty but has pungent tones of melon, oak and horseradish .

FATHER INTHEBETTA: Horseshit!

RICHARD (OF RBB):     No, horseradish.

FATHER INTHEBETTA: No, horseshit. Don't pretend you know a lot about wine Matey. Don't kid a  kidder and, believe me I know how to kid being a priest and all.

RICHARD (OF RBB):     (mutters) Yeah, kids, that figures.

FATHER INTHEBETTA: What's that?

RICHARD (OF RBB):      I just said "beer lids that skidded".

FATHER INTHEBETTA:  Have you had a stroke?

                                             Anyway to get back to the topic - have you considered coming back. We have some good reports about you even if they are a bit dated. Look, here's one (rummaging through the large file he has in front of him) - ummm, 1963 "Richard is a very nice boy, small and easy to handle which is surprising since he's a rather large chap" - Brother Kanusperadiym.                                          

RICHARD (OF RBB):     Bastard!

FATHER INTHEBETTA: No, Polish I think.

RICHARD (OF RBB):      Dad, get this through your fricken head - I don't want to come back.

FATHER INTHEBETTA:  Are you sure?

RICHARD (OF RBB):      Yes, I'm sure. I've got a brother who's a bit of a Christian nut who's sure he's going to heaven. I don't want to end up with him (and Mr Linford) banging on about Jesus for eternity.

FATHER INTHEBETTA:  Well listen old fella- I've got some news for you there. Robert the sinning toilet cleaner won't be going to heaven so you should be all right.

RICHARD (OF RBB):      You mean?

FATHER INTHEBETTA:  Yes, he's buggered, I mean, um, he's blotted his copybook as it were. Last   week he didn't attend Sunday Mass and he didn't confess it.

RICHARD (OF RBB):      He's going straight to hell?

FATHER INTHEBETTA:  In a hand-basket my son, in a hand-basket.

RICHARD (OF RBB):       I'll drink to that.

FATHER INTHEBETTA:  More wine mmm? Here's a chilled red. Try this.

We have to leave the report of the meeting there as Richard (of RBB) and Father Inthebetta had a few more wines, told stories about school, the Church and Robert and got pissed.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REVISIONIST THEOLOGY?

 As for me, not a lot none at all and hadn't heard the term at all until I found a funny cartoon mentioning it.

Here's what Encyclopedia.com has to say about it. Enjoy.

REVISIONIST THEOLOGY

In the broadest sense, "revisionist theology" refers to such recent theological movements as process theism and various forms of political and liberation theology (i.e., feminist, black and Third World as well as the work of other individual theologians. What is characteristic of and common to such diverse forms of theological reflection is their attempt to reformulate from various critical perspectives the meaning and truth-claims of the Christian tradition's central theological and Christological affirmations.

In the narrowest sense, revisionist theology refers to a specific formal model of the method of fundamental theology. The term itself was first put forward by David Tracy in Blessed Rage For Order and this text remains the primary source for the most refined and detailed exposition of the model. For Tracy, a revisionist fundamental Christian theology is best described as philosophical reflection on the meanings present in common human experience and those present in the Christian tradition. The broad and the narrow senses of the term are not unrelated. Revisionist theology as a formal model of theological method is characterized by a specific understanding of the web of commitments which define the standpoint of the individual theologian's approach to the Christian faith. This methodological commitment at the level of fundamental theology finds its embodiment in the sphere of systematic theology, and to a greater or lesser extent, in the theological movements noted above.

For revisionist theology the primary commitment of the Christian theologian as theologian is to the community of scholarly inquiry and its respective canons of inquiry (i.e., philosophical, historical, literary-critical, ideological-critical, etc.) and the morality of critical inquiry: a resolve to defend methodological canons in a public manner, to assert only that for which warrants are provided, and a willingness to follow the evidence wherever it may lead in the spirit of open inquiry. The theologian's primary loyalty to the tradition as Christian theologian lies in a commitment to the investigation of the present meaning and defensibility of the truth-claims of that tradition.

Critical Corrective. This understanding of the task of the theologian is aptly called revisionist because it represents a critical corrective to the dominant neo–orthodox understanding of the task of theology described by Paul Tillich through the "method of correlation." According to Tillich, the task of the theologian is to show that the Christian message contains answers to the questions implied in the human situation. The revisionist maintains that such a correlation is insufficiently critical—indeed, it is simply a juxtaposition—as it derives the questions for theology from one source (the human situation) and its answers from another (the Christian message) and does not allow for a correlation and interplay of the principal questions and answers of each source.

In this criticism revisionist theology reaffirms the commitment to the principal values, cognitive claims, and existential faiths of classic liberal theologies. Yet revisionist theology affirms these through the correctives of post-liberal neo-orthodox and radical theologies. Revisionist theology self-consciously acknowledges first, the naiveté and optimism of liberal theology regarding the reconciliation of Christian faith and modern culture. Second, it accepts the description of the cognitive, ethical, and social ambiguity of the contemporary world as articulated by both neo–orthodoxy and post-Enlightemnent schools of secular thought. Third, given the criticism of the method of correlation, revisionist theology remains disenchanted with the final neo–orthodox defense of theism through a retrieval of God as the "Wholly Other." The revisionist therefore accepts the criticisms—which is not to say the conclusions—of a radical theology which rejects orthodox, liberal and neo–orthodox defenses of theism as incompatible with the affirmation of an authentic, illusionless secularity. Fourth, it seeks to preserve within theological reflection the polyvalent nature of the dominant symbols of Christian faith along with an acknowledgement of the hermeneutical and social conditions of all human understanding. Revisionist theology is thus defined by its commitment to the articulation and critical correlation of both a reinterpreted post-modern consciousness which recognizes the antinomies of the Enlightenment and a reinterpreted Christianity which recognizes the crisis of the meaningfulness of Christian faith today.

Got that? Good ....Oh, here's the cartoon.

SAINT REBECCA

I found this video while searching through christian music (as you do) and immediately thought of Robert's Saint Faustina (as he does) and wondered if she had been reincarnated:

REBORN 

Rebecca St. James could well have  gone through either a psychotic breakdown or had a revelation of Jesus Christ (you decide) not unlike what Maria Faustyna Kowalska (Saint Faustina) claimed to have had.

Faustina was pretty successful in her 'career', becoming a saint and all but imagine if there had been internet video technology in her day. I can see Faustina banging out a driving dance beat and  trippy visual metaphors to make the music video for 'Reborn'.

Virgin, Religious, Christian Mystic,

"Apostle of Divine Mercy"

Advocate for sexual abstinence, anti-abortion
and for, well, god in general

St. James isn't her real name - that's  Smallbone but Rebecca changed that because, as she says

 "Well, God totally confirmed that I was meant to use 'St. James'".

She burbles on - 

" My label had kinda wanted me to change my name which I didn't like the idea at all initially. And they thought about naming me "Rebecca St. John" and I just didn't like it because I didn't even have a relative named John. It just wasn't a part of my life. So, I thought about "St. James" because John and James are similar but my grandfather's name was James. But I was still unsure about the changing the name thing and then I called up my grandma, who's in Australia and we were in Nashville at the time, and I said "Do you have any family names I can use - at least close to my heart?" And she said, "Well, how about 'James'?" because Jim was James and this was just after he passed away. So it's a total miracle that she even brought it up and on the other side of the world without knowing what we were thinking and she brought up the same name. So I felt like God really confirmed it and it's kind of like a tribute to my grandfather, too, because he was a real man of God."

Thanks for clearing that up Rebecca. It sort of makes what Faustina's on record as saying almost comprehensible.

Fausina said that Jesus told her to:

Paint an image according to the pattern you see, with the signature: "Jesus, I trust in You" (in Polish: "Jezu, ufam Tobie"). I desire that this image be venerated, first in your chapel, and then throughout the world. I promise that the soul that will venerate this image will not perish.

It's nice to see that Jesus speaks Polish.

Faustina also said:

“Jesus loves hidden souls. A hidden flower is the most fragrant. I must strive to make the interior of my soul a resting place for the Heart of Jesus.”

“If the angels were capable of envy, they would envy us for two things: one is the receiving of Holy Communion, and the other is suffering.”

“The Holy Spirit does not speak to a soul that is distracted and garrulous. He speaks by His quiet inspirations to a soul that is recollected, to a soul that knows how to keep silence.”

Now if put to music those quotable quotes would make good lyrics, certainly better than 'Saint' Rebecca's lyrics in her song 'Reborn'.

If you see a change in me don't wonder
There's someone in my life
And peace I can't describe
For I've been reborn
If you see a change in me don't wonder
I've found a whole new life
And hope that I can't hide
For I've been reborn
Have you ever felt a longing
A searching, within your soul
You want something more
But you don't know what for
There's one who will reach across the distance
From the heavens to the earth
Because he loves you
He loves you
Have you ever felt that something
Is missing within your soul
You want something more,
But you don't know what for
There is only One you need,
But you've got to believe
That He loves you enough
To give His life

I HAD TO PHONE SOMEONE, SO I PICKED ON YOU

 Trawling through YouTube I stopped and listened to David Bowie's 'Starman'.

STARMAN - DAVID BOWIE

Listening to the lyrics I immediately thought of Robert and his belief that Jesus is waiting 'up there' somewhere.

I had to phone someone, so I picked on you
Hey, that's far out, so you heard him too!
Switch on the TV, we may pick him up on channel two
Look out your window, I can see his light
If we can sparkle, he may land tonight
Don't tell your poppa or he'll get us locked up in fright
There's a Starman waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us
But he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a Starman waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it
'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile
He told me
Let the children lose it
Let the children use it
Let all the children boogie
Starman waiting in the sky
He'd like to come and meet us
But he thinks he'd blow our minds
There's a Starman waiting in the sky
He's told us not to blow it
'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile

Well, it's no sillier than that stuff that gets dished up in sermons at Mass.

GREETINGS FROM THE ST PATRICK'S COLLEGE FOUNDATION

I received an email from Tom Mahony, Foundation Chair of the St. Patrick's College Foundation today.

I was tempted to reply that his letter was opportune as I need at least one extra chair for the deck but thought he might not understand, not having read my blog posts and, being a good Catholic, not having a sense of humour.

Here's Tom's letter:

Dear Peter,

Greetings from the St Patrick's College Wellington Foundation

You'll be aware that St Patrick's Day is looking a little different this year as it has since 2022, however, that will not stop us from taking the time to celebrate our successes.

To do so, I wanted to share our Rector I Tumaki - Mike Savali's,
St Patrick's Day Blessing:

May the blessings of St Patrick be with you always and in the work you do.

As a community we are unable to celebrate any form of worship or festivity. However, let us be grateful for a new day...

Me inoi tatou, let us pray.

May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

St Patrick. Pray for us.

When Mike speaks to being grateful for this new day, I want to extend that gratitude further and send a heartfelt thank you for the continued support we receive from our Old Boy's.

This has been showcased throughout generations and in 2021 more so through the dedication of time, generosity and a commitment to the future vision of the College.

I want to take this time to thank all of you for your support in all its capacity and have attached a brief report which I shared in College's most recent year book - The Patrician.

I hope you are as proud as I am of all we have achieved through what has been a tough year for many in our community.

If you are able, I hope you find some time in your day to celebrate St Patrick's Day.

We're eagerly awaiting a time when we can welcome our Old Boy's back to the College for events and reunions.

Happy St Patrick's Day!
Sectare Fidem



Tom Mahony




At first I thought that Robert had sent the letter under the guise of Tom Mahony as some parts didn't make sense, others were subject to grammatical errors and there was some dodgy stuff in it as well:


"You'll be aware that St Patrick's Day is looking a little different this year as it has since 2022, however, that will not stop us from taking the time to celebrate our successes."

I don't know what that means.




" ....may God hold you in the palm of His hand."

I don't think I want to know what he's suggesting here.




I can only assume that Tom and Rector Mike Savali only made the 'G' classes when they went to the school.

SAINT VENERABLE

 I watched the first season of a series on NETFLIX titled The Defeated.

In it a deranged ex US soldier is on a vendetta to eliminate Nazi criminals and sympathisers and the first season ended with him targeting The Vatican and that well-known ally of Hitler, Pope Pius XII.

.

The character Moritz discovers a Nazi 'ratline' link to The Vatican at the end of the final episode.

.

From Wikipedia:

While the Vatican was officially neutral during World War II, the Reichskonkordat and his leadership of the Catholic Church during the war remain the subject of controversy—including allegations of public silence and inaction about the fate of the Jews. Pius employed diplomacy to aid the victims of the Nazis during the war and, through directing the Church to provide discreet aid to Jews and others, saved hundreds of thousands of lives. Pius maintained links to the German Resistance, and shared intelligence with the Allies. His strongest public condemnation of genocide was, however, considered inadequate by the Allied Powers, while the Nazis viewed him as an Allied sympathizer who had dishonoured his policy of Vatican neutrality. After the war, he advocated peace and reconciliation, including lenient policies towards former Axis and Axis-satellite nations. 

In The Real Odessa. How Peron Brought the Nazi War Criminals to Argentina (2002), the Argentine journalist Uki Goñi described how the Argentinean government dealt with war criminals who entered Argentina. However, during his research Goñi accidentally stumbled on British Foreign Office documents relating to the involvement of Vatican personnel in the smuggling of war criminals, the so-called post-war "ratlines". Goñi found out that the British Envoy D'Arcy Osborne had intervened with Pope Pius XII to put an end to these illegal activities. Furthermore, he discovered "that the Pope secretly pleaded with Washington and London on behalf of notorious criminals and Nazi collaborators".  

The Catholic Church of course downplays any investigations and publications that suggest that Pius XII had anything to do with the 'ratlines' and with Nazi sympathy and play up everything that he did for Holocaust victims after the war.

The truth is likely somewhere in between.

This doesn't stop Robert ,who is a great defender of Eugenio Maria Giuseppe Giovanni Pacelli. In a very recent post, or comment on a post he said something about Pope Pius XII being a lovely chap or something like that (I couldn't find it so he might have deleted it). Mind you, Robert believes in a holy trinity with three jokers all being the same person and they invented the world and mankind, tried to destroy the world and mankind and then came up with a Hollywood film-type idea to 'save' mankind. Good luck with trying to find any truth there.

EUREKA!

 No, EUCHARIST!

You might not have heard but Robert  got a taste of Hell yesterday - no, not from reading Richard's blog, he should be used to that by now - no, he wasn't able to go to Sunday Mass due to Covid restrictions and missed out on taking Holy Communion.

This is a biggie for Robert who gets a warm glow from consuming what he believes is Jesus's flesh and he likes to indulge in fantasies while looking at the crucified Jesus and the statues of the Virgin Mary (don't ask).

From the comfort of his own home (safely locked in the bathroom) he can er, contemplate his favourite images via the numerous 'holy pictures' that he has stashed about the place. He particularly likes the ones with the exposed hearts for some reason.

Yummy

That's OK as far as it goes but no doubt Robert will still crave that host with its initial dry texture and, as it melts on the tongue, the slimy doughy sensation that he savours before swallowing.

What to do?

*************************

Fortunately The Curmudgeon has experience with communion hosts see: MINE HOST and has spent some time seeking out commercially available alternatives given that he no longer has connections with the Catholic Church or The Home of Compassion in Wellington where the hosts are made for the local churches. The alternatives have needed to be embellished with toppings though given their bland taste and texture. See:HERE

By coincidence I've come across a viable substitute. Some friends who came to stay recently brought some crackers and left them here. I found them in the pantry on Saturday, unopened, and tried them. Bloody delicious!

And, they are very thin, wafer thin not unlike a communion host.

The wafers are just smaller than the hosts that priests use to celebrate Mass but larger than the measly ones that are given out to the congregation. You can get a decent mouthful of Christ with one of these babies.

They have that "initial dry texture and, as it melts on the tongue, the slimy doughy sensation that he savours before swallowing" but with a magic ingredient - taste.

I reckon that Robert could have a lot of fun with these on Sunday mornings and he could pretend to be one of the congregation or, if he dressed up in an old tablecloth covered by a net curtain could take on  the role of the priest.

🎵"Well come and listen to my story
about a man named Jed Jesus"🎵

HOC EST CORPUS MEUM

FORGET FAUSTINA, SAINT JAVELIN IS MORE RELEVANT

 

In the Russia-Ukraine war, a photo of Mary Magdalene holding a Javelin, an anti-tank missile launcher, in her arms, is being used as a symbol of defiance.

 In the picture, Mary Magdalene, styled as in Eastern Orthodox church paintings, is being hailed as St. Javelin and has become the face of Ukraine's resistance to the Russian invasion.

The Javelin is a FGM-148 Javelin anti-tank missile that is fitted with a high-explosive anti-tank warhead and has a range of 2,000 metres. It was designed by the US defence firms in the late 1980s, and can be fired by soldiers - not requiring a missile launcher. Already it has proven to be effective being responsible for the destruction of a great many Russian planes, helicopters, tanks and armoured carriers.

Ukraine bought the Javelins from the US in 2018 from the United States as part of a military support deal - probably the one that the orange fool Trump tried to hold up. It's lucky for the Ukrainians that the idiot was impeached and the deals went through.


I like this story and the use of old Mags as the face of the resistance. I've always preferred her over Robert's favourite - the Virgin Mary. Mags was more real or at least believable and I guess that Jesus thought so too as he was reputed to be having sex with her and some (The Carolingians) reckoned that he got her pregnant. Maybe Robert can enlighten us on that.